Problems (Remuda Pt 2)

Health, Mental Health, Parenting, Random Short Stories, Relationships No Comments »

Hiya 😉

From Jimpix

I was excited when I saw that ‘problems’ and ‘crumb’ had shown up on today’s Jimpix offering!  It was surely a sign that I was to carry on and extend yesterday’s prose piece?! It was a nice mild selection too, so not that tricky to work with (strange…?).

Having read both of my pieces back a few times, I don’t think they sound like an American girl is narrating, really – or at least to my mind it reads as though she may have been brought up by an English nanny!

 

Eminent  Problems  Gunnells  Mammet  Volume  Zero  Childish  Infatuated  Crumb

Mum was very encouraged by the fact that some eminent psychologist or other had taken residence at the ranch.  The answer to all my problems.  Mum looked hurt when I’d tried not to snigger.

“What’s so funny?” she’d snapped

“Well…did you say her name was ‘Gunnells’?!”

“Yes…!”

I laughed outright; “So! At this hallowed place that treats people with eating disorders – they hire a shrink with a name that is synonymous with being full-up?! Talk about subliminal messages! I love it!”

 

You see, I’m really NOT one of those sad mammet types who want to take up as little room as possible and shrink out of life. 

I LOVE LIFE!

Turn it up to full volume, why don’t you, and throw some groovy shapes on that dancefloor!

I watch my weight, obviously, but I am not a size zero.  I’m not some waif with a childish desire to stay little forever, stop my periods, be looked after by my parents…

I like what I like, and I do what I do.  I’m not infatuated by every fashion model out there, nor am I suspicious of every crumb on my plate.  Plus, I hate throwing up. 

I don’t think this place is really ready for me, as beautiful as it is.  I don’t play nice with other girls.  But then, that could be fun!

I shook out my bun and squared my shoulders, hoping the crick in my neck would soon leave. 

“Let’s go then” I said, cheerfully, looping my arm through my dad’s.  Mum looked delighted.

 

A very full notebook page today!

Is the girl a reliable source of information?  Does she really feel as she says she does, or is she in denial? I suggested yesterday that she had moved to the other side of the US from her home town…what was she running from?  Has she aspirations she wishes to chase, or just demons she’s hoping to leave behind?

Or is it the mother who is in denial, hoping that putting her daughter in for this kind of therapy will be much easier to talk about at the tennis club? Is she hoping that any other mental health issues will be mopped up at the place as well if she just throws enough money at them?

What is in the past with the father?  What renegade moves has he pulled recently?  Is he even with the mother any more, or is he there for the daughter?

Let me know what you got from the emerging story, in the comments!

**Disclaimer: I have only done rudimentary research on Remuda Ranch, and the services it provides.  The pieces I have written are entirely works of FICTION and the characters are not based on anyone I actually know or have ever met!  The area of expertise that the place in question specialises in is a very emotive and delicate one – I in no way wish to belittle that, just explore it through the characters I have created.  The characters’ views should not be taken as my own**

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Remuda

Health, Mental Health, Parenting, Random Short Stories, Relationships No Comments »

Hey-lo lovely reader!

So! I was putting off my Jimpix dealings yesterday, as I have been pretty busy trying, trying, trying to catch up on housework and the washing pile, since my pelvis decided to give me a lot of pain and make me take it slower last week. 

From Jimpix

But today I bit the bullet and just went for it to see what the god of Jimpix would give me.  I had already decided that I was going to attempt to write a prose piece with the words and see where it took me.  I had the idea at the back of my head that I might do the same tomorrow with another Jimpix selection and see if I could carry it on with the same characters?!  Is such a thing even possible with this wild generator?!

I was surprisingly nervous about writing the piece at all.  Blank page syndrome really kicked in!!

**I must point out here and now that I have only done rudimentary research into what the place I will set my piece in the grounds of looks like, and the services it provides.  The following piece is entirely a work of FICTION and the characters are not based on anyone I actually know or have ever met!  The area of expertise that the place in question specialises in is a very emotive and delicate one – I in no way wish to belittle that, just explore it through the characters I have created.  The characters’ views should not be taken as my own**

I had to look up ‘remuda’ and just underneath it on the search engine appeared ‘Remuda Ranch’ – a treatment centre for women and girls who have eating disorders.  It is in Arizona, so I immediately had to look up how long it would take to get there from Connecticut (as it was one of my words)…and so a wee story started coming together in my mind.  I started the timer and off I went:

 

Anchor  Remuda  Flank  Connecticut  Kissing  Stoic  Renegade  Offensive  Triathlete

It had been a four-hour flight, then the drive, and now my head floated as if finally released from its anchor.  Remuda Ranch, at first, looked tipsy.

Pins and needles scuffled in the whole of my left flank, but the air smelt like freedom after Connecticut.  I stretched my arms towards the big blue sky, and got sudden images of a stubbled stable hand, pungent from leather and horse sweat, kissing me like his life depended on it…

Dad had been such a stoic through the whole journey, listening to mum rattling off all the benefits this beautiful place boasted for people like me.  How much the other girls would take to my sweet nature and we’d get through it together.  Dad already knew there was a high chance I’d turn renegade.  I took after him, so he never found it as offensive as mum did.

Not even after I’d ditched the hunky triathlete at that Vegas alter last year…

 

Scribblings…gutted because my purple pen ran out half way through my time! Hoping I have another one somewhere…

Las Vegas is next door to Arizona, but waaaay across the map from Connecticut.  What age are we thinking the ‘girl’ is? One must legally be 18 to marry in Las Vegas, but how easy would it be to fake an ID?

It would appear that the parents live in Connecticut, so why was the daughter so far away?  Did she abscond in her summer vacation and get a job as a cocktail waitress?

It reads like her parents are wealthy, so has she stolen money and gone off to seek adventure, previously?

I’m pretty pleased with the piece.  I think I will try to expand upon it tomorrow, dammit! 😉

Wish me luck!

 

 

 

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Disturbance

Health, Mental Health, Random poetry 2 Comments »

Hello!

Here’s tonight’s random word poem.  Again the subconscious took over, so I don’t know what precisely has happened to the poor woman, or who the speaker is.  But I want to hug them both:

From Textfixer

 

Shadow  Negative Elevator  Global  Factual  Disturbance  Push  Fermentation  Divorce

 

That’s when the shadow

Entered her eyes.

The negative self-talk

Dates from then, too.

 

I tried to be her elevator:

Scribbles

Dredge her from the depths,

But too late –

For her this depression

Is global, and it’s stuck.

 

She can give me every factual piece

That relates to her profound condition.

She has links to everything;

Memes from memory.

 

A ‘disturbance’ they said.

But when they elected to push:

Her buttons deployed readily.

 

Those screams!

 

“Born of fermentation of mind

And divorce from ‘normal’.”

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Lednock

Health, Mental Health, Random poetry 4 Comments »

 

Hello again 🙂

From Jimpix (muhahahahaha)

So it came to pass: once again the generator of doom ground its cogs and presented me with a strange mix of words to play with.  It took me a bit of twisting of the ol’ grey matter to figure out how ‘Lednock’, ‘IBM’ and ‘Elwy’ were going to gel together, but I managed with just over 5 minutes to spare.

Obviously I did my research outwith the 15 minute window, I’m not that quick 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Splatter  Lednock  IBM  Experiment Wings  Elwy  Pharaoh  By  Chancellor

 

The rain did not start to splatter steadily

Until I’d almost finished marvelling at the majesty

Of Glen Lednock.

Drawn from dull conferences, and talk

Of IBM shares (and software in general) –

I was feeling free.

 

This experiment I’d started, oh five years ago now,

Had flexed its wings and shown me

That life was for the living.

 

Paradoxically, it was the dead that spoke to me most.

Whether crouched in an Elwy cave,

Tracing Neanderthal;

Or staring into Pharaoh faces, imagining the

Baking heat upon their taut skin, once –

It got me by.

 

It kept me sane when others rattled on about money

And gloomy predictions, ignored by the Chancellor.

History doesn’t lie…

 

Scribbles in purple

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter
Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Sudden

Health, Random poetry No Comments »

Hi! 🙂

Well! I was pretty down in my last few posts, but today I was rewarded with some very good news – Eldest had a restful  night, and woke up ravenous and pain free this morning!!

It took him two hours to wrestle through his sore tum long enough to eat all of a medium banana yesterday afternoon, and he had two naps between parts of it (!); but this morning he positively inhaled a slice of dry toast and then piped up “I feel much better today.  Can I open the big box of train track?”.  I can’t express how much that meant to me!!

Youngest had already been awake for two hours (it was 8.30am), and was down in the playroom with a new birthday toy.  Eldest marched down the stairs to join him (hubby has been carrying our invalid the last few days, as Eldest has been so weak) with me scurrying behind him, holding the requested track accessories!

Youngest’s face was so shiny when he realised his big brother was coming to play with him again after five days, it totally splintered my heart!  Just yesterday, Youngest had been stroking his brother’s head and using a gentle (and slightly patronising) voice, with Eldest lying there looking pathetic.  Youngest straight away took the lesser role in the new activity, however, as it was clear Eldest had a plan and was back in charge 😛 apparently, Eldest had been dreaming about track building!

I took some video of the the two of them exploring the contents of the track additions, then slipped away to go up and tell hubby the amazing news…and allow myself a wee sob over how wonderful it was to see Eldest ‘back in the room’. 

Eldest stopped play about half an hour later, and demanded a bowl of cereal.  He then had a banana not 15 minutes after that!!  He did get a sore tum for 20 minutes while the food went down, but then he was grand for the rest of the day!

From Textfixer

Unfortunately, all this good news did not translate into a happy poem, as the words did not point me in that direction – but that’s just the way of it sometimes 😉  there is a health theme, though…

 

 

 

 

Controller  Clinic  Grim  Circuit  Sudden  Any  Headlock  Determined  Enemy

 

As a ‘controller’ in life

That visit to the clinic

Felt particularly grim.

There is a short circuit

In my ability to take it all in.

 

Too sudden.

Too raw.

No way to make it less painful.

 

The fear has me in a headlock,

My neck aches from the strain of thinking

While Googling possible outcomes.

 

I am determined to fight this…this…

ENEMY within my body.

 

No way I’m not getting out of this

Alive.

 

Notebook scribbles

 

 

[Eldest’s red track supports are these and the blue ones are these. I am not gaining anything by sending you to the Amazon links, just thought you’d like to know what the boys were playing with, because they are pretty cool 😉  The wooden track, turntable etc are various presents that have built up over the years.]

 

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

 

Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

All I have

Health, Mental Health, Random poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hello again 😉

I am perched on my stripped bed, surrounded by boxes and notebooks and general pieces of nonsense.  I have been trying to instil in our boys the habit of moving furniture to vacuum behind it, and dusting etc.  This week they were to help me and hubby with the main bedroom. 

It, of course, started off well: the kids vying for the heaviest boxes from under the bed to help carry through to the nice open spaces in their rooms, arguing goodnaturedly about where they should be stacked, and so on.  They even reminded me that the boxes needed dusted before they were stacked, and eagerly wet microfibre cloths to get the job done.

from Random Word Generator

Then, after less than half an hour, they decided that mum and dad had kindly set them up an OBSTACLE COURSE and proceeded to play a noisy game of tig amongst the rubble!

There was a half-hearted attempt to help me vaccum about an inch of carpet, then they told me it was all too much hard work and instead went outside with their (equally bored) dad and left me with displaced furniture and possessions all over the top of the house.  Sigh.

Why do they all assume I hold cleaning in any higher esteem than they do?!  That my time is any less precious?  That I have a higher boredom threshold…?

I am going to try and sort through a few things before bed tonight (oh, and put the duvet etc on…) so it doesn’t look like I’m getting to bed before 2am.  Again…

The words that came up today were relatively easy to fit in to a poem.  But the subject matter became a little scary.  I definitely need to get some more sleep…

 

 

 

Have  Waste  Friendly  Traction  Mind  Cultivate  Utter  Mutation  Cousin

 

It is hard to look at all I have

Remembering I waste.

This friendly town I moved to,

Gaining traction as I aged;

Has much good to consume the mind,

To cultivate much joy,

But also tempts an utter horror –

My ‘mutation’ could destroy:

The understanding shoulders

The smiles, the trust, the hugs;

If I don’t keep slaying Black Dog

(Cousin of the friendly ‘doug’)

If I let the Dark Pooch off the lead

I’m sure he’d run amok

Mowing down these cheery faces –

(I hear a ticking of a clock)

Instead of knowing that he’s shut away?

I often hear him growl!

And one day, maybe, he’ll burst out

Commit deeds all find foul…

 

Notebook page

Do you find it hard to be your best self, and worry that there are just some parts of you that are too awful to look upon?

Do you find yourself wanting to run for cover as you are not sure if you can trust your words to come out properly today?

What do you do to fend off the ‘Black Dog’?

 

 

 

 

Come visit the Facebook page
Follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter!

 

Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Of Unicode and Skelpie

Health, Random poetry, Relationships 2 Comments »

Hi 🙂

So yes, it’s a flipping Jimpix day.  I think I was nobbled for the last one not being too bad 🙁

From (flipping) Jimpix

I shall admit straight away that the research for this one did not look straightforward from the start, so I only used the 15 minutes to actually write the poem (and boy, did I need it!!). 

I had never heard of ‘Unicode’, was not sure of the precise symptoms/causes of ‘colitis’ but it was quite easy to figure out what a ‘skelpie’ would be in the Urban Dictionary…!

So I looked them all up.

Unicode is: “a computing industry standard for the consistent encoding, representation, and handling of text expressed in most of the world’s writing systems,” according to Wikipedia.

Colitis is an inflammation of the colon and rectum, exacerbated by stress.

Skelpie is in Cupar, Fife, Scotland.  There is a farm there. 

It has a hill called Skelpie Law near it.  I can imagine what the Urban Dictionary listing would be for that, too 😀

So my research was a fat lot of help as I sat there: timer running, blank page staring…

 

Tong  Unicode  Hook  Relaxed  Ivory  Cricked  Culmination  Colitis  Skelpie

“It all went a bit…Pete Tong…”

His talent for understatement

Always creeps up.

I did not have the Unicode

Set in my head…!

(And my right hook

Was itching for freedom).

 

The last time I relaxed around him?

The dear only knows.

(My eyes’ permanent purple

Set under the ivory,

Neck cricked ‘round the phone

At crazy hours)

I sigh, but seldom fix…

 

And the holiday I took,

Falling off the horizon:

No restive culmination.

As I stuff my case again,

I can feel the colitis sparking –

That familiar knot of pain

As I drive past Skelpie Farm.

 

What on earth has the guy been up to that makes the poor speaker so stressed and unwell?!

Notebook nonsense

‘Unicode’ in my context is supposed to mean that she (in my head the speaker is female) doesn’t know where to begin forming a script to tell him how much he annoys her.  As it is a computing term, I thought it would be cool to use it as a thinking one, too (the brain being a computer, blah blah).  I hope it works ok for you?

I like the double meaning of ‘as I stuff my case again’ in the last verse.  I wonder why she keeps putting up with this man?  What is their relationship?  I thought maybe a brother?

We had a lovely holiday in Fife, staying in a B&B. I did actually check, and there are lots of places to stay around Skelpie Farm, but I don’t know if one needs to actually pass the farm on the way back home?  So poetic license there.

[I am assuming that everyone knows that ‘Pete Tong’ is a DJ whose name has become Cockney rhyming slang for “wrong”?]

What do you think the back story for this poem is?  What do you think happens when she gets home?  I can’t see the situation, with her health, being sustainable long term.

Hubby said to me that the only other way he could think of to incorporate ‘skelpie’ would have been to have it as a lisping child’s take on ‘kelpie’, and then to link to the beautiful sculptures in Falkirk.  This thought had actually crossed my mind, briefly, while I was frantically searching for a site to help with my poem, but I write a lot of poems about parenting and didn’t want to today.

Too easy, y’know?

😛

[Edit 4/3/17: Oh no! I am gutted I didn’t find the Scottish Roller Derby’s blog sooner!! Another skating poem might have been written 🙁 ]

 

[P.S. If you want notified of new posts as soon as they are up, go to the subscription box on the menu panel and pop in your email address.]

Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Presented

Health, Random poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hey There! 😉

From randomlists

‘Holistic’ and ‘metal’ together in a Google search  either throw up massage tables and other supplies, or a discussion about heavy metals and their effects on the body, I realised after I had written today’s poem.  I smirked at ‘bent’ and ‘science’ being together, as I know there is a whole swathe of people out there who view holistic therapies this way!

I looked up holistic science (again after the poem was written) and got this back, along with the course page for the only UK university who seems to offer it as a degree.  It all sounds intriguing!

 

Metal   Holistic   Stop   Rich   Bent   Science   Certain   Employ   Tangy

I was presented with a metal box

Rattling with holistic promise.

Her eyes did not stop seeking mine;

A rich, deep brown for me to whirl in.

 

Bent on rescuing me – and suspicious of outsider science –

My wife gave that certain look

That let me know the other woman

Was deemed in the Devil’s employ.

 

I set down the box, and left;

Some tangy perfume lingering on my hands.

 

Notebook workings

I am not sure a metal box would be proffered by a practitioner of holistic medicine, having tapped around the subject a bit! 

When I put ‘holistic box’ into Google I got back many pages flogging boxes of monthly posted goodies. I clicked on this list of tried and tested ones, and again was quite taken with all the paraphernalia and healthy yummy stuff.  Not sure many would deliver to the UK without bankrupting me, however 😉

I wish I had delved into the alternative therapies and Yoga etc, when I had the time.  My posture is awful, plus I often feel I would really have benefited from some meditation training!  I should have immersed myself in learning things like astral projection and remote viewing, too, cos with my brain who knows where I’d have ended up?! 

But then my husband and I would not have clicked so well, (and probably never have met) and that would have been a huge loss to my little world.  He is firmly planted on the ‘reductionism science’ side of life!

As to the actual poem ‘I’ wrote (still wrestling with the me/muse/subconscious debate) again I am at a bit of a loss:

What resides in the box?

Who is the brown eyed woman?  Why is she looking at the speaker so intently? 

Is all as it seems?  Is the box a message/metaphor?

Is it just jealousy that makes the wife want her partner to leave abruptly, discarding the box?

Hmmmm…

Let me know what train of thought fastened together when you read today’s words and/or the resulting poem 😉

 

Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!