Balance

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting, Relationships No Comments »

Hello 🙂

This foray came to me while pondering ‘balance’ in my journal:

Person on a tight-rope over a canyon

 

Which scale should I measure from?

What fool would proclaim balance –

In any form –

Lives here?

 

This photograph is propaganda:

There’s no telling where our minds were

When we posed for this.

 

A decade ago

Was a different skin.

It began to peel

As my stitches healed.

 

Those surgeons pulled out multiple lives;

Sliced through more than meat.

 

The scar is growing fainter,

Subsumed by metamorphic grace.

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Wrapped Up In Hours

Other Poetry 2 Comments »

Hey 🙂

 

Today’s journal prompt touched on my tendency to procrastinate. 

This led to thoughts of hesitation, which in turn became:

 

When I look at each day

And I try to relay

All the hopelessness wrapped up in hours,

You tell me how I

Have no right to reply

In this manner: come across a coward.

 

A woman on the train tracks in the dark, with a lantern

It is true that I’m blessed –

I feel guilty and stressed

That I’m coping this badly, so please:

Don’t scoff or roll eyes

At my anguished cries,

Drowning out on society’s seize. 

 

Just having a brain

Doesn’t mean I refrain

From being unequipped, and dumb.

What comes out of my mouth

Can show a ‘logic drowth’;

But I won’t just dry up/cut and run…

 

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

The Ache

Other Poetry, Parenting, Relationships No Comments »

Falling awake

The ache, the ache;

Every mistake

The ache, the ache.

 'BE'

Your noise follows me

To the ends of my tree,

I look down and I pray for release;

So far away

The dark close to the day

Even then, this onslaught will not cease.

 

Falling awake

The ache, the ache;

Wisdom intake

The ache, the ache.

 

I hear all your pain

In your thunderous reign

And I ‘get’ that you’re reflecting mine;

But I cannot deal

With relentless appeals

Don’t you see there’s a creative line?

 

Falling awake

The ache, the ache;

Barriers break

The ache, the ache.

Buddha figurine, meditating 

I’m supposed to sit still,

Study each bitter pill,

Emerge stronger, on some higher plane;

Not react to the fuss

(All this ‘trivial’ stuff)

That somehow gets stuck in my brain.

 

Falling awake

The ache, the ache;

Pathetic fake

The ache, the ache.

 

My eyes stuck on the prize

Shrugging off this disguise:

There’s a Wonder Woman in this dust.

I just wish I had known

‘Fore these babies were born –

But I needed their guidance to trust…

 

Falling awake

The ache, the ache;

Internal quakes

The ache, the ache.

 

Falling awake

The ache, the ache;

Too much at stake

The ache, the ache.

I am really being affected by listening to Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s book The Conscious Parent on Audible.  I feel important (and long overdue) changes are afoot 🙂

(Don’t delve into Tsabary’s work without hankies, a journal/notebook and a willingness to look your demons straight in the eye.  You have been warned!!)

[Pics are from here and here]

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Meghan

Other Poetry, Relationships 5 Comments »

Hello,

Did you see the television coverage of Prince Harry’s wedding to Meghan Markle?  I loved the way the couple looked at each other, and how they were obviously having intensely personal moments even with the countless spotlights on them.

I wish them all the very best for their life together 🙂

 

A train of thought billows

With a far-reaching veil,

Tethered by small hands.

 

Advancing,

The eyes of the world upon her:

 

Ascension to destiny

Is always walked alone.

 

[Pic is from here]

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Cliff

Other Poetry No Comments »

Hey 🙂

I am still exploring journal prompts around the subject of my career, as I wander through May…

Woman sitting precariously on the top of a mountain.

 

The only ‘career’

That I ever knew

Was the one off the cliff in my mind

And, hampered by fear,

All I ever do

Is tend to my broken behind.

 

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

 

Contribution

Mental Health, Other Poetry No Comments »

Hello 🙂

Analysis paralysis

When someone asks of me

The contribution I will make

To fair humanity!

 

So sick and tired of thinking

(Getting stuck in my own wheels)

I never have an answer that

Brings up all the good feels.

 

So: I mumble and I stumble

And I off-the-cuff remark;

Then wander home dejected with

My temper growing dark…

 

Yeah… my journal prompt hit a nerve today 😉

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Player?

Childhood, Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting, Relationships 2 Comments »

Hi 🙂

Today I was to ponder how work and play are defined in my world, using my journal.  The lines are somewhat blurred in my life at the moment!

The more I acquaint myself with the updated neuroscience in Steve Biddulph’s Raising Boys, the more I realise this dynamic may not be changing much for the next 20 years or so 😉  Hopefully I’ll have two wonderfully healthy and well-adjusted young men toasting my 60th at the end of it, however…

 

Blue eyes and brown

They hate coming down

From their rooms to the sound of our beeper.

(It heralds goodbye)

On the landing they lie

One protesting, one feigning a ‘sleeper’.

Youngest on scooter and Eldest walking

 

With fake snoring aside,

And debates all been tried,

They succumb to inevitable hurry;

Twisted-heel socks put right,

Shoes with matched feet inside:

We grab coats, bags – then ‘cross paths we scurry.

 

On my way home to food

(Mind a little unglued)

I have Spotify feeding me soundbites;

They balloon in my brain

‘Til I don’t feel the same –

Potential now reaching for new heights.

 

Through the vacuuming gigs

And the laundry bin digs

There are YouTube, and Audible goodies.

(Or I’ll turn on the news

While some stitches accrue,

And I sample ‘craft-angst’ with my cookies…)

Youngest racing Eldest to go and hide painted rocks!

 

Back with youngest again

All the questions begin,

As I size up his mood and his morning.

As we mosey on home

I field requests (and moans)

Witness his schoolboy self ‘terraforming’.

 

We do lunchtime and then

Giant cuddles [for men

Need this most vital act in their childhood;

And, being a huggy type

As I am, it feels right

To attempt this – no matter our mood]

 

Then with one sleepy spud

‘Buggied up’, and our ‘crud’

All slung over the handles, we move it;

Down to Eldest at school

(Where we try not to duel

While I dole out the snacks, with good spirits)

 

After dinner, laundry –

An anecdote or three –

It is time for the playroom clean-up;

Daddy comes home and helps,

I claim time for myself

And do blog stuff o’er milky tea cup.

 

Homework done now, with dad,

It’s father-time for the lads

And this is where duff-ups ensue;

I emerge from my dreams,

As peace rips at the seams,

(Daddy needing a backup or two)

 

There are cuddles and tears

Talking-round of jeers,

Then those separate showers begin.

I hear stories anew

From each boy and we, too,

Speak about what tomorrow may bring.

 

Uniforms all laid out,

Suppered boys on the scout

For what tale they may now want to hear;

We cuddle and read,

Applaud every good deed,

Then it’s duvets tucked up to their ears!

 

Official adult time

Commences about nine,

But we might not have been fed just yet…

We navigate this

And settle to the biz

Of reclaiming creative outlets.

 

All too soon – call of bed

And that cold parent dread

That one child might scream out (around 3);

But still our eyes close –

“Que Sera…” we suppose –

For sure: as our tykes grow, here we’ll be.

 

Well, that turned out to be a little longer than originally anticipated!

It is nice to get our routine down on ‘paper’ like this, however, as it will all change in a few short months.  I am trying to slow the passage of time down in my mind and really savour the boys.  For all it will be liberating to have 6 hours’ worth of kid-free time, I know I will miss Youngest’s wee eager face telling me his insights around mouthfuls of buttered roll at lunch, anticipating what Eldest’s reactions will be to nursery scandals and deciding which games they’ll play after 4pm.

There are always a million things to be getting on with around here, and I have enough creative projects simmering in my head to keep me going until the kids are in their thirties (!) but it will still feel too quiet in the house by the second week of the Autumn term.

I hope Hubby keeps working from home at least two days from five, or I might have to start meditating in my silent surroundings and actually produce all those books I’ve always promised myself I’ll write one day…!

 

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Ticking

Mental Health, Other Poetry No Comments »

Hello!

Following a journaling prompt to think about how I would know that a big goal of mine had finally been ticked off, I wrote the below:

 

With a blank page cackling,

And the self-doubt tackling

Each thought – sunlight dappling

That umpteenth can of pop;

She just sat there, pen tapping,

Her willpower kinda napping;

Inner patience worn and snapping

Wishing ticking hands would stop…

girl under time pressure

 

Who’s that person, not so needy,

Talking herself up? Indeedy:

She comes across now less than weedy,

Sometimes she’s even making sense!

As the junk-piles ‘round her teeter

Her harsh self-talk starts to peter,

Hesitations become fleeter –

Soul in receipt of recompense!

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Fill ’em up…

Other Poetry, Parenting, Relationships No Comments »

Hi!

Since yesterday I have been watching YouTube videos featuring Dr. Shefali Tsabary, who is a family psychologist…and she blows my mind.  It is like the universe is pulling no punches whatsoever. The Impact Theory video where Tom interviews her popped up in a long line of Mel Robbins recommendations (I still love listening to Mel when I need a butt kick) and as I had never heard of Dr Tsabary, I clicked through…

I do feel that there is an impish spirit that likes guiding me around the internet.  I spotted Hubby’s profile on a dating site’s match list 13 years ago, but only the once – after the site had randomly reset some of my search criteria for me – let’s not forget 😉

I have also received my updated version of Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph (another family psychologist) in the post today (a well-timed ad on Facebook led to that purchase!), so expect some ponderances on parenting over the next wee while! 

My journal prompt for today asked me to think about what I love to do, and I answered ‘reading and learning’, so it all fits in nicely.

The poem below is a partial digest of my watching Lewis Howes’ interview with the good Dr T.

My words came to me in the shower, then were scribbled hastily before I did the school run!

 

All of these ancestors

Spinning in their graves,

Light years away

But still you’re their slave.

 

Newborn crying

We talk all this up

As if walking out is bad,

Proffering hymn sheets

Declaring God is sad.

 

Reality’s distorted

And still we’re running scared,

Our children are floundering

And wholly unprepared

For the barrage of dogma

That we all see fit to preach.

(As if we are the experts

And kids aren’t here to teach…)

 

I think I will probably lengthen and tweak this a bit as I get deeper into my study of my chosen psychologists’ wisdom. Gotta love a bit of therapy from the comfort of your own home, eh?!  Totally fascinating 🙂

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

[Pic is from here]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

In Training

Mental Health, Other Poetry No Comments »

Hey 🙂

Today’s ponderance of what thought-shifts I would need to have, so I can grab my dreams, led to:

 

“I’d bend the world unto my will,

Then every person’s cup would fill;

Lambs would frolic, bells would ring

Sunlight would splay o’er everything…”

 

Light at the end of the tunnel

But this mere speck has not that might,

Has chosen to remain contrite;

And sigh, and wish, and scribble lists

Journal about the ‘training’ missed.

 

All smoke and reflection to mask

Her fears about getting on task;

Of courting fame or spotlight stands –

When masterpieces leave her hands…

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

[Pic is from here]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!