Present Expertise

Childhood, Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting, Relationships No Comments »

Hey there 🙂

I am still digesting all that I heard in the audiobook The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary, which I finished two days ago – and I am already mainlining her second book The Awakened Family on Audible!  

She talks about children being masters of living in the present moment, and how this is an absolute GIFT to their parents (if only we saw it as such).  It is scary when I view my kids through her eyes…but it can only make me a better mother and person, right?! 

 

I watch you revelling in your inner world

And wonder how mine splintered off so far;

The beauty that you witness all around

The doors leading off that you see ajar…

Youngest, Legoing Eldest leading me higher

Forgive me for my fearfulness and pain

In not reaching yet who I need to be,

Thank you for all the ways you display grace

And guide me home, through storm clouds, towards me.

 

 

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Perspective

Health, Mental Health, Other Poetry No Comments »

Hi 🙂

I have swapped the poem that I wrote today for this one that was written after the passing of Stephen Hawking in March of this year.

I have decided to use today’s poem elsewhere 😉

 

The sound of space

Seems familiar to me:

The tuneless roar

Whilst spinning in blackness –

Finally revelling

In the blue beauty of Earth

 Astronaut floating near Earth

I hope that one bound by paralysis

Again found joy

In that sight.

 

Unshackled, weightless,

Tipping off his axis;

Finally gaining answers

He’d yet to uncover.

 

[Pic is from here]

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Smoke

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting 2 Comments »

Hello!

I was pondering where my niche may be, today.

All this journaling and thinking has made me crave the cigarettes I gave up for good in my late twenties.  I’m sure that this is significant and means I should keep probing 😉

 

In imaginary smoke

I puff out all

The indignities.

 Woman smoking in band t-shirt

Part of me still insists

I look cool in these shades.

 

In my head, it’s purple dusk.

(Those sunglasses rendered useless).

 

Enigmatically I stand:

In a long coat,

Hair in a quiff.

 

Back here, in reality,

Another school day begins.

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Mirror

Mental Health, Other Poetry No Comments »

Hey 🙂

When my journal prompt asked me to consider what kind of person I was in relation to others, this came up:

 

Not dyeing my hair,

Becoming someone else

(More familiar than myself)

In each mirror.

 

And pretending that’s ok.

 House of cards

I pay

In spades.

 

Instead of seeing hearts

Unmasked and open:

 

Just clubs

Pounding snubs

To which this diamond is beholden.

 

Cheery…

 

 

[Pic is from here]

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

 

Balance

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting, Relationships No Comments »

Hello 🙂

This foray came to me while pondering ‘balance’ in my journal:

Person on a tight-rope over a canyon

 

Which scale should I measure from?

What fool would proclaim balance –

In any form –

Lives here?

 

This photograph is propaganda:

There’s no telling where our minds were

When we posed for this.

 

A decade ago

Was a different skin.

It began to peel

As my stitches healed.

 

Those surgeons pulled out multiple lives;

Sliced through more than meat.

 

The scar is growing fainter,

Subsumed by metamorphic grace.

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Contribution

Mental Health, Other Poetry No Comments »

Hello 🙂

Analysis paralysis

When someone asks of me

The contribution I will make

To fair humanity!

 

So sick and tired of thinking

(Getting stuck in my own wheels)

I never have an answer that

Brings up all the good feels.

 

So: I mumble and I stumble

And I off-the-cuff remark;

Then wander home dejected with

My temper growing dark…

 

Yeah… my journal prompt hit a nerve today 😉

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Player?

Childhood, Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting, Relationships 2 Comments »

Hi 🙂

Today I was to ponder how work and play are defined in my world, using my journal.  The lines are somewhat blurred in my life at the moment!

The more I acquaint myself with the updated neuroscience in Steve Biddulph’s Raising Boys, the more I realise this dynamic may not be changing much for the next 20 years or so 😉  Hopefully I’ll have two wonderfully healthy and well-adjusted young men toasting my 60th at the end of it, however…

 

Blue eyes and brown

They hate coming down

From their rooms to the sound of our beeper.

(It heralds goodbye)

On the landing they lie

One protesting, one feigning a ‘sleeper’.

Youngest on scooter and Eldest walking

 

With fake snoring aside,

And debates all been tried,

They succumb to inevitable hurry;

Twisted-heel socks put right,

Shoes with matched feet inside:

We grab coats, bags – then ‘cross paths we scurry.

 

On my way home to food

(Mind a little unglued)

I have Spotify feeding me soundbites;

They balloon in my brain

‘Til I don’t feel the same –

Potential now reaching for new heights.

 

Through the vacuuming gigs

And the laundry bin digs

There are YouTube, and Audible goodies.

(Or I’ll turn on the news

While some stitches accrue,

And I sample ‘craft-angst’ with my cookies…)

Youngest racing Eldest to go and hide painted rocks!

 

Back with youngest again

All the questions begin,

As I size up his mood and his morning.

As we mosey on home

I field requests (and moans)

Witness his schoolboy self ‘terraforming’.

 

We do lunchtime and then

Giant cuddles [for men

Need this most vital act in their childhood;

And, being a huggy type

As I am, it feels right

To attempt this – no matter our mood]

 

Then with one sleepy spud

‘Buggied up’, and our ‘crud’

All slung over the handles, we move it;

Down to Eldest at school

(Where we try not to duel

While I dole out the snacks, with good spirits)

 

After dinner, laundry –

An anecdote or three –

It is time for the playroom clean-up;

Daddy comes home and helps,

I claim time for myself

And do blog stuff o’er milky tea cup.

 

Homework done now, with dad,

It’s father-time for the lads

And this is where duff-ups ensue;

I emerge from my dreams,

As peace rips at the seams,

(Daddy needing a backup or two)

 

There are cuddles and tears

Talking-round of jeers,

Then those separate showers begin.

I hear stories anew

From each boy and we, too,

Speak about what tomorrow may bring.

 

Uniforms all laid out,

Suppered boys on the scout

For what tale they may now want to hear;

We cuddle and read,

Applaud every good deed,

Then it’s duvets tucked up to their ears!

 

Official adult time

Commences about nine,

But we might not have been fed just yet…

We navigate this

And settle to the biz

Of reclaiming creative outlets.

 

All too soon – call of bed

And that cold parent dread

That one child might scream out (around 3);

But still our eyes close –

“Que Sera…” we suppose –

For sure: as our tykes grow, here we’ll be.

 

Well, that turned out to be a little longer than originally anticipated!

It is nice to get our routine down on ‘paper’ like this, however, as it will all change in a few short months.  I am trying to slow the passage of time down in my mind and really savour the boys.  For all it will be liberating to have 6 hours’ worth of kid-free time, I know I will miss Youngest’s wee eager face telling me his insights around mouthfuls of buttered roll at lunch, anticipating what Eldest’s reactions will be to nursery scandals and deciding which games they’ll play after 4pm.

There are always a million things to be getting on with around here, and I have enough creative projects simmering in my head to keep me going until the kids are in their thirties (!) but it will still feel too quiet in the house by the second week of the Autumn term.

I hope Hubby keeps working from home at least two days from five, or I might have to start meditating in my silent surroundings and actually produce all those books I’ve always promised myself I’ll write one day…!

 

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Ticking

Mental Health, Other Poetry No Comments »

Hello!

Following a journaling prompt to think about how I would know that a big goal of mine had finally been ticked off, I wrote the below:

 

With a blank page cackling,

And the self-doubt tackling

Each thought – sunlight dappling

That umpteenth can of pop;

She just sat there, pen tapping,

Her willpower kinda napping;

Inner patience worn and snapping

Wishing ticking hands would stop…

girl under time pressure

 

Who’s that person, not so needy,

Talking herself up? Indeedy:

She comes across now less than weedy,

Sometimes she’s even making sense!

As the junk-piles ‘round her teeter

Her harsh self-talk starts to peter,

Hesitations become fleeter –

Soul in receipt of recompense!

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

In Training

Mental Health, Other Poetry No Comments »

Hey 🙂

Today’s ponderance of what thought-shifts I would need to have, so I can grab my dreams, led to:

 

“I’d bend the world unto my will,

Then every person’s cup would fill;

Lambs would frolic, bells would ring

Sunlight would splay o’er everything…”

 

Light at the end of the tunnel

But this mere speck has not that might,

Has chosen to remain contrite;

And sigh, and wish, and scribble lists

Journal about the ‘training’ missed.

 

All smoke and reflection to mask

Her fears about getting on task;

Of courting fame or spotlight stands –

When masterpieces leave her hands…

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

[Pic is from here]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

By Now

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting No Comments »

Hey 🙂

Today was another lovely day, which we took with us to a beach on the Fife coast.  There is a craze at the moment for hiding painted stones for others to find and relocate to a spot of the finders choice.  We have been hunting around our local area, but had to hop over the Kincardine Bridge before we had any luck 😉 we discovered a lovely rock on the beach (from a nursery in those parts), and then Eldest and Hubby found three more beauties on their trek in the nearby woods. (Youngest’s legs were hurting, so I’d taken him back to the car for chat and cuddles)

The boys rehid the first rock on the beach, but have taken the other three home with us to plant wherever our next adventure takes us!  So grateful to the artists of these rocks, the boys loved looking at them.  We have painted some rocks too, but they are not varnished yet – must get onto that this week!

Youngest with a rock from the Daisychain Nursery Eldest with a 'Fife Rock' Eldest with a 'Fife Rock' Youngest with a 'Fife Rock'

 

My prompt for today was centred around whether I felt like I had specialised in any particular field during my life.  That somehow turned into a poem about measuring adulthood by deed…

 

‘They’ say that if, by forty,

You haven’t made the grade

At being fully functional

(Seldom adulting, in spades)

Then: “pressure’s off, it’s over!

You can relax now – just ‘be’!

You have lasted as a kiddie

Those grown-ups feel jealousy!!”

 

But what if you have avenues

You still want to explore,

Just woke up late, feel panicked,

Are left limping for the door?

The boys enjoying the beach

What if it isn’t that you aren’t

A fully fledged expert

At over-caring, worrying,

And slaying laundry dirt?

 

(Ok your cooking’s not that great,

Your house is pretty trashed,

Christmas seems to ambush you;

All your shoes are scraped and bashed…)

 

But you’ve a sense that destiny’s not ‘done’

It’s just biding its time,

Somehow this chaos that you’ve lived

Is fuelling the sublime;

That purpose and fulfilment may

Between the school bells lie,

A higher self just floating in

Forgiving, rainbowed, skies…?

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!