Wishes – #NaPoWriMo19 – 7

#NaPoWriMo19, Childhood, Mental Health, Parenting 2 Comments »

Hey there 🙂

 

It was Eldest’s birthday today, and the Na/GloPoWriMo prompt  decided to run with this nicely:

Today, we’d like to challenge you to write a poem of gifts and joy. What would you give yourself, if you could have anything? What would you give someone else?

Happy writing!

Youngest’s birthday was only eight days ago.

I get sentimental at this time of year, I warn you now…the start of the poem is Eldest’s answer to “what would you like for your birthday if you could have anything?” while he was talking about his X-Box adventures 😉

 

“Sixty-four emeralds!”  – said with a grin

(For Minecraft – it’s all ‘invent’ry’ will fit in)

Why did I not know that all we’d to do

Was ‘dig’ him up a shiny green thing or two?!

 

I wish that my joy could be bought with such ease –

I’m standing here mourning that time is a thief,

And I’m wishing this handsome young man with bed-hair

Could somehow rewind a few years…it’s not fair!

 

Though, better still, please the capacity

To visit myself in my uncertainty

In each parenting stage (once at last I am wise)

With assurances, hugs – more rational eyes.

 

It would be nice to think in my quiet old age

I could comfort my young self, sow peace through my days;

That the next time I felt like collapsing in sobs,

I’d be at my own shoulder,

                                           whisp’ring softly:

                                                                       “Good job…!”

 

I am getting this up on the blog at a ridiculously wee hour of the morning, so I must dash, but I’ll be back later for day eight.  Ciao for now!

 

[Pic is from here]

 

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Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

I Cannot Run – #NaPoWriMo19 – 5

#NaPoWriMo19, Childhood, Mental Health, Parenting, Relationships 4 Comments »

Hi!

 

A foray into the villanelle style was one of the three suggestions to get me crafting today’s poem.  Not an easy task, but I had a bash at it!

The site says:

The classic villanelle has five three-line stanzas followed by a final, four-line stanza. The first and third lines of the first stanza alternately repeat as the last lines of the following three-line stanzas, before being used as the last two lines of the final quatrain.

I also found it described as having a rhyme scheme of: A1bA2 abA1 abA2 abA1 abA2 abA1A2   on Wikipedia, where the capital A stands for a repeated refrain, and the number after each signifies which of the two it is…

I went for the version that has 10 syllables to a line, too.

Anyway, all this complicated stuff can be explained better by just getting to the poem!  So here goes:

 

I cannot run, also I cannot kill.

This conundrum – it haunts my waking hours.

Why’s every word they say so freaking shrill?

 

To stay civil is taking all my skill,

All I want’s ten minutes in the shower.

I cannot run, also I cannot kill.

 

Our two having a Lego superhero adventure together on the X-Box (semi-amicably)

“I can’t make brothers disappear at will…”

(Thank the lord our tablet still has power)

Why’s every word they say so freaking shrill?!

 

“I do not have a magic wand or pill.”

“Don’t make that face at me, your milk will sour.”

I cannot run!!  Also: I cannot kill.

 

“Get down from there! No jumping off the ‘sills!”

“Flatulence is not your superpower…”

Whyyyyyyy’s every word they say so freaking shrill…?!

 

Their hearts and tummies never seem to fill,

I feel one day they’ll all of me devour.

I cannot run. Also, I cannot kill.

WHY’S EVERY WORD THEY SAY SO FREAKING SHRIIIIIIIIIILL??!!!

 

Did I mention that the kids were on holiday this week and next?! 😀

Hope you got a giggle or two out of today’s poem (I like the superpower line!!), and I’ll hopefully be back soon with tomorrow’s offering 😉

 

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Copyright © 2019 Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Habitual Army – #NaPoWriMo19 – 3

#NaPoWriMo19, Mental Health, Parenting, Random poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hi 🙂

Today I decided to revisit the (double) Tetractys style of poem, using both today’s prompt from the Global/National Poetry Writing Month site and the nine words Randomlists’ generator gave me. 

I like a challenge…

To explain: I wrote a series of 40-syllable 10-line verses (with a syllable layout of 1,2,3,4,10,10,4,3,2,1) around the theme of a story that unfolds over a long-ish time period and incorporates the words below!!

 

As

Always

These are her

Habitual

Army of thoughts: negative troops of pain

Hop between recollections, turning her

Neuroscience

Toxic. Her

Friendships

Stale.

 

There

Was once

This lovely

Man, one kid each,

A comfortable house…but inside she

Would compare unfavourably, always

Sure happiness

Was just a

Fatal

Boast.

 

The

Children

Grew anxious

The man: distant.

She would judge herself harshly but still strive

To paddle against their tide; switch comfort

For perfection,

Teamwork for

Solo

Ire.

 

Proud

In a

Tight way (for

Failure could loom)

She stored up stories to keep them humble;

Baked and gave. Inauthentically kind.

Good manners with

Smile plastered;

Practiced

Act.

 

‘Grand’

Kids bore

Grander ones,

That seldom greet

This lonely figure in her scrubbed box, with

More windows than walls.  She dusts their framed smiles

By the mountain

She’ll traverse

Before

Sleep.

 

Hopefully you like what I came up with, and it makes sense…!

 

Take care, and I’ll catch you tomorrow 🙂

 

[Pic is from here]

 

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Copyright © 2019 Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Gewgaw – #NaPoWriMo19 – 2

#NaPoWriMo19, Mental Health, Parenting, Random poetry, Relationships 2 Comments »

Hey there!

Ok, we are on the second day of Global/National Poetry Writing Month!

On the site, participants have been challenged to write a poem that culminates in a question.

I thought it was time to face the Jimpix generator again – it always makes me enquire about the 
meanings of words, 
ask myself how the heck I make a cohesive narrative from the fodder it throws up, 
seek interesting ways to cobble together sentences and forage for the sense in the chaos… 

(I have learned that ‘gewgaw’ means ‘a (particularly useless) showy thing’,which tickled me)



He showed me a new gewgaw

Auntie had seen fit to buy

(I need more tat festering

Like a large thorn in my eye)

 

Her ploy had worked, however:

Waylon cuddles’ had ensued

(He rifled through her handbag

With his free hand, which was rude)

 

Picking through the hovel-y mess

Past Ruscles with his bone,

I then tried to serve dinner (and

Placate my rage hormones)

 

Husband appeared: the magic sis

Hastening his commute.

Raucous chat over parsnips,

(A floor filthy from his boots)

 

This man, that boy, this avalanche

Of ‘joy’…!

My brain disjoints.

I wear this weighty wedding ring –

But wonder: what’s the point?

 

I got a flash of an open-plan living/dining room and a newly-wed woman with PMT trying to entertain – totally at the end of her tether and regretting tying herself into being a wife/step-mum/sister in law…

Where would you have gone with this word selection?!

See you tomorrow 😉

 

[Pic is from here]

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Copyright © 2019 Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Fragile Pieces – #NaPoWriMo19 – 1

#NaPoWriMo19, Mental Health, Other Poetry, Random poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hiya 🙂

 

The optional prompt for NaPoWriMo today is to write instructions in a poem. 

In my usual way, I have decided to consult the universe and ask it to…instruct?…me by means of a random word generator.  Today I used Textfixer.  It appeared to have a rather vicious agenda to begin with…!

 

If you want to woo me,

Don’t make each conversation a bloodsport.

 

Don’t escalate my voice to fever pitch,

As I bare each tooth

And scatter my fragile jigsaw under your menacing glare.

 

Trying to account

For the irregular edges

Takes all my energy.

 

Forever missing something,

A capsule erroneously opened.

 

This ‘white whale

That eludes even itself.

 

Tempt me in

With the fizz of your intellect;

Praise my efforts

To disguise how convertible

I know your fickle pleasure boat to be.

 

Does this read as instructions, or just commands?!  Spot the mixed metaphors too…!

 

No matter: that’s the first ‘official’ April 2019 poem done and dusted!  Hurrah!

 

[Pic is from here]

 

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Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

The Phoenix Leaf

Childhood, Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting No Comments »

 

The Phoenix Leaf

 

Which part is dying?

Which should I keep buried?

And for how long?

 

Is it true

what she said

in that office?

Its windows

Too high to reach comfortably.

 

With a baby nestled

Into my chest

I told the truth about my pain.

 

She confirmed it was needed;

That to lose it

Would unravel the whole.

As if under the shroud

I am nothing:

I only burn bright

Due to my incandescent rage.

 

When it takes me

It’s part of the plan:

 

Look how beautifully we merge.

 

The Phoenix Leaf

Small?

Mental Health, Random poetry No Comments »

Hey 🙂

Today I turned to Randomlists to whet my sludgy thoughts:

 

Words from Randomlists

 

I make but a small mark

On this immense world;

My faint shows of heart

To date may not seem important.

Each feeble victory:

Another load dried

Another few words scribed

May seem ripe to wipe

From the tome of history.

Cherub smiling

 

But, though I perspire

On a small stage,

Cowering in creature comforts;

My pinions on each side

Are growing strong.

 

See you soon 😉

 

[Pic is from here]

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Fermentation

Mental Health, Parenting, Random poetry 1 Comment »

Hi!

I was not inspired to write anything by my journal prompt today, so I asked Textfixer for some fodder instead. 

Textfixer word selection

I then wrote two similar poems, following my usual rules for each.  Which do you think works the best?

 

1.

In twelve more years,

There’ll be two decades’ worth

Of fermentation

Spilling over laptop screens,

Peeking out of bookshelves.

My sugar turning bitter:

Forbidden’ activity

Producing wealth at last.

Balled up attempts

 

The ultimate prank:

Push forth life, take care of it,

Be the officer of its welfare;

Laser focus on the important

And find inner peace”

 

Many a frustrated cadaver

Would expound

(If allowed voice)

On how this is not real life.

 

 

 

2.

In twelve years:

Two decades mum.

What fermentation will I see?

If all is kept forbidden

My sugar starved of oxygen –

A dark red run

Acidic and thin?

zombie lady

 

The prank of the push

Motherhood:

The arresting officer of motivation,

Energy,

Identity,

Time.

 

My head full of laser scars:

Focus obliterated the inner world

With each task ticked off.

This walking cadaver

Stinks up every conversation;

Blue–lipped, slack–limbed

And hungry for brains.

 

 

I’m plumping for the second one 😉

 

Pics are from here and here

 

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Bully For Me

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Relationships 1 Comment »

Hello 🙂

Under this date, in Hannah Braime’s book, I was asked to journal about a cyclical pattern in my life that I wanted to change.  From that, came this:

 

I hear tick, tick, tick

As you pick, pick, pick –

All this freaking yarn

From your pet sheep farm –

And my entrails fall

In a colourful mess

For all to see

As resentment nests.

 

I get so tired

Leaden feet mired,

No rope in sight

(Though I’m wound so tight

That this last word might

Make my dark ignite…)

Talking sheep heads

 

Incandescent rage

Burning up the page…

                     Hidden ‘midst a book

      In some shady nook…

 

But: “I can’t sit still

Feeding off this swill

For one more day

While the rest make hay!”

 

So: I upped and ran

Built another sham

In a different place

(Much to my disgrace)

‘til I fell awake,

Pointed out the fake,

Summoned up the clear

To banish my fears.

 

So, if you hear me now

On this frequency:

We should forge ahead

Campaign ceaselessly

For our right to say

Our truth easily,

Sort out all our wrongs

And live peaceably.

 

[Pic is from here]

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Self Coloured

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Relationships 1 Comment »

Hello!

 

I accept

I’m inept

(And a genius)

 

I accept

That I’ve kept

Too much back.

 

I accept

That you’ve wept

And I’ve rejoiced.

 

I accept

Things are swept

Out of reach.

 Acceptance vs self improvement

I’ll improve:

Get my groove,

Turn this corner.

 

I’ll improve –

This interfluve

Will soon flood.

 

I’ll improve,

Worn smooth

By the waters.

 

I’ll improve:

Every move

Well thought-out.

 

The above came up when my journal prompt probed how I juggle self-acceptance and improvement.  It’s a mind bending question, because it is so tempting to see our flaws instead of crediting how far down the road we have come already, and honouring the journey appropriately. 

 

[Pic is from here]

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!