My Producer Of Sunshine

Mental Health, Random poetry, Relationships 2 Comments »

Hello ♥

Fittingly, it is a Jimpix day today.  I am experiencing a mish-mash of feelings to go with the jumble of words in this box.

 

Loosen  Palatable  Ringed  Bugger  Caught  Hoops  Bank  Spy  Producer

 

Even with alcohol

To loosen my thoughts

They would not be palatable.

(Least of all to me)

They stay ringed

By an electric fence;

 

It’s been a decade,

But I don’t trust them.

I am such a selfish bugger:

I know you needed out,

That you picked your time precisely –

But my understanding

Gets caught up in my emotions,

And my heart leaps

Through torturous, fiery hoops:

 

I just really bloody miss you!!

 

At least I can still bank

On you showing up in my dreams.

 

And those soft white feathers

Appearing by my feet,

That never fail to spark

Eldest’s existential conversations.

 

I know you came to visit –

A ‘spy’ on my wedding day –

And, as your gift,

Became ‘Producer of Sunshine’

To make photos bright.

 

I see you smiling from my mirror

(And your daughters’ faces, too)

I catch your echoes here

So many times per week.

 

But it’s not leaving like I thought it would.

This ache keeps gnawing…

As I hug people you didn’t meet,

 

Morph into someone you don’t know.

 

 

 

 

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Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

The Daily Grind

Parenting, Random poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hello!

It was Textfixer in control today:

 

 

Teeth  Powder  Massive  Ruby  Noble  Application  Bent  Grind  Minipill

 

She could swear there were little teeth

Poking through those cute gums already,

As the powder cloud cleared

And he smiled –

That massive gape

He always did.

Those impossibly ruby lips

And noble brow –

Oh!  He was just

So endearingly beautiful!

 

(Some people said she should

Reign in her application of that word

For a boy;

But beauty was what she saw

So what she would express)

 

As she bent to cuddle bubs again,

She heard the grind

Of her husband’s well-established enamel

Behind her.

 

Whereas he could not forgive

Their ‘penance’ for a failed minipill –

She was just delighted

With this boy she could watch grow.

 

 

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Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Dam

Random poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hi 🙂

Sometimes it pays to look up words that you are already pretty sure you know the meaning of.  One of the great beauties for me, when doing these random poems every day, is that I have to really engage my brain to bring some cohesion to my resulting work.

I decided to look up ‘dam’ because I was wondering if there was a better way to link horses with water, other than talking about canals…and found out that it can refer to the mother of a domesticated animal such as a horse!

😀

 

Teeny  Distance  Horses  Dam  Obedient  Combative  Zoom  Own  Disgusting

 

It was a teeny point

But it created such distance between us.

Our horses bolted

Before anyone thought about gates.

 

I’m sure even a Dam

Would have cautioned against

Our skittishness.

 

But we weren’t obedient:

Eternally combative,

Rearing up against anything

That could be deemed a foe.

 

Even each other.

 

Now we zoom through our lives

Completely on our own,

Never letting on about

How disgusting regret feels.

 

 

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Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

He Calls Me…

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Random poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hi!

Today’s words (from Textfixer) unleashed a fed up and feisty female speaker.  Woe betide ‘him’ if he messes with her much longer 😉

 

Egocentric  Compulsive  Fragment  Decoder  Think  Parasite  Gunrunner  Teen  Village

 

He calls me egocentric and compulsive,

When in truth I repetitively do things

Because others need me to.

 

He says I analyse each fragment of his conversation

Looking to trap him;

Become a random decoder

Reading things he never meant

Into his words…

 

But who taught me to think that way?!

Who showed me

That what is declared

Sheds little light

On what occurred?

 

I’m not some parasite:

Sucking his life-force,

Plotting his downfall,

Stockpiling ammo

In my gunrunner’s lair!

 

No.

 

I am not huffing like some teen

Grounded for ten misdemeanours

On his way home from school…!

 

I participate in my village,

I can be relied upon to contribute;

I don’t scurry out of sight

When my curtain is pulled back…

 

 

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Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Abstract

Random poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hey There 😉

I have gone for a RandomWordGenerator selection again today, as I messed up and used RandomLists twice, earlier in the week! Fair’s fair…

I seem to have been channelling unhappy characters in the past few posts. Tonight’s lady appears to be experiencing some legal trouble:

 

 

 

 

 

Abstract  Spontaneous  Advisor  Surgeon  Wife  Veteran  Extort  Video  Disgrace

 

They were always abstract,

His spontaneous splurges of art;

He called me in to be his advisor

But it felt like I became

Some incompetent heart surgeon

When I tried to offer my thoughts:

 

Each unfavourable word

Piercing…

Spilling lifeblood in cascades.

 

So, as his wife,

I learned

To keep his vital organs

From staining up his sleeves:

Applied salve and sustenance

When needed,

Became a veteran enabler

Who did nothing to extort gain.

 

I saw no money from each YouTube video

Despite long hours

Spent fixing lighting

(And temperament)

 

When his health failed,

And I’d sold the paintings

To pay for his care:

His posthumous lawyers

Coloured me in disgrace.

 

 

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Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

A Ray Of Danger

Childhood, Random poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hi 🙂

Some straightforward offerings from Textfixer today.  The poem was kinda destined to be dark after reading the last two words, however…

 

Patient  Danger  Plantation  Rage  Divine  Ray  Amuse  Bloodsucker  Hunchback

 

He was never patient.

I always felt in danger,

Like his slave:

Forced to bend,

The world his vast plantation,

His rage knowing no bounds.

 

He had divine right over me –

His x-ray vision

Penetrating my very thoughts.

The way his hand-marks

Rose upon my face

Seemed only to amuse him.

 

This monster hid in plain sight,

Squatting over our lives,

And no one tried to vanquish him.

 

Sometimes evil is no Hollywood bloodsucker

And has no hunchback henchman:

Sometimes it just nods to you

At your little village shop…

 

 

 

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Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Spy?

Parenting, Random poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hiya 🙂

 

 

 

Unbiased  Suspect  Unruly  Number  Spy  Peaceful  Year  Concern  Wrench

 

No-one can be completely unbiased,

And I suspect her motives

Every time she smiles

At my unruly kids.

 

(I fret she has my mother’s number

On speed-dial:

Was sent as some spy

Into my supposed adulthood)

 

But it has been a peaceful year

Since the big volcano,

So I’ll try to quell my concern

And feign I think she’s not pretending

That this whole situation

Is a huge, undeniable, wrench.

 

I can see a woman in her twenties, with two lively boys in a library.  There are books strewn around them, and she had been trying to quietly wrestle a title from the younger boy when her aunt approached.  There was an immediate change in the atmosphere – the boys sensed it and both ran away to another part of the kids’ section, giggling.  The conversation is then stilted between the adults, the younger woman really wanting to go and calm down her sons, but not wanting to appear rude; the older woman very happy to see the family, but not knowing what to say.

I get the impression that there were threats of Children’s Services being involved in the younger woman’s care of the kids.  More than that, I am unsure…

What do you think the background to the poem is?

 

 

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Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

 

Freethrow

Random poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hi 🙂

It’s another Jimpix day…

I wouldn’t have written ‘freethrow’ and ‘datatype’ as compound words, but then this generator has always been a law unto itself, hasn’t it?!

My definition of ‘clapper’ here is the little part inside a bell, but I am not entirely sure what the rest of the poem means 😉

 

 

 

 

 

Pitcher  Least  Clapper  Draw  Freethrow  King  Pebbles  Felix  Datatype

 

He put down the pitcher,

Stared at me incredulously

Thirst forgotten.

At least I had his attention.

 

Somewhere a clapper vibrated

And the clang of his realisation

Reverberated through me.

I did not look away.

 

I sometimes wish

I could draw his expressions;

Have a freethrow at artistic licence –

Scribble in a smile.

 

He likes to think himself

King of all he surveys –

We sink like pebbles

Through the vastness of his scope.

 

But now Felix is frowning.

I’ve flabbergasted him;

And he does not comprehend

My datatype, at all.

 

What has the speaker (I think ‘she’ but could be either gender) done?  What relationship does the speaker have with Felix?  What age is Felix?  How does the situation resolve itself?

Discuss 😉

 

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Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Appreciate The Depressed

Mental Health, Random poetry, Relationships No Comments »

 Hi 🙂

 

Again I had a nice easy set of words!! Amazing!

From Randomlists

I have been thinking recently about the realities of listening, versus what we actually hear. I have been looking for patterns in people’s interactions over the past few weeks.  It is interesting when I see them surface, because I realise that I’m not that different and yet everyone is messed up in their own beautiful, raw, and tangled way.

Also, it’s not crucial that you react to their views.  A large proportion of the time, what others say is not actually about you.  I have needed that clarification repeatedly in my life – I am very bad at not instantly wanting to bite back!

I think the hardest part to deal with is when someone belittles your feelings, or tells you that you are coping (when you are with yourself all day and so are pretty damn sure you’re not).

When you are a person that other people rely on, it can be difficult for those people to shake the image of you as a ‘keeper of the norm’.  Their equilibrium would be upset if you fell from the pedestal they have made for you, so they trap you there, ignoring all evidence of change.

If you are a young person, it can be hard to be taken seriously; schooldays being billed as ‘the best of your life’, for instance.  What do you have to be sad about when everything is free and you have lots of time to yourself…?

I imagined an Uncle as the speaker for the poem.  I thought he was probably making unkind remarks about his teenage niece at a wedding.  Something about her being bullied at school and that if she just lost some weight and cheered up a bit she’d be fine…

I think it reads like his sister has dragged him over to apologise later, and he’s not doing very well 😉

 

Count  Observation  Maniacal  Tap  Relation  Bomb  Dreary  Appreciate  Depression

 

Does it count

That my impertinent observation

Was followed by the maniacal laughter

Of alcohol?

 

If it performed a nerve tap

Surely the relation of booze to views

Is quite irrelevant?

 

I bounced that bomb

But didn’t run from the blast;

I was keen to see

Whether your dreary take

Could be shaken!

 

I don’t think you appreciate

How often I’ve seen that work…

 

What do you mean you’re “depressed”?

 

 

[Picture credit: Pexels ]

 

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Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

See You Soon…

Parenting, Relationships, Skye Posts No Comments »

Hello lovely readers!

We are off to the lovely Isle of Skye today for a while 😀

The laptop and tablet are packed, along with my notebooks and coloured pens, so I shall try and stay in touch with the blog while we’re there.

The cottage is supposed to have Wi-Fi, but sometimes my lappy and the WordPress Editor do not get along…unfortunately it may be a bit quiet around here, we’ll see. 

I’ll be writing my random poems/stories all the same, and I’ll post them up as soon as I can!

Take care of yourselves, big hugs, chat soon (hopefully I’ll show off some nice relaxed pics, too!)

Montaffera

XXXXX

 

[Click here to keep up with any posts I write about our Skye holiday]