By Now

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting No Comments »

Hey 🙂

Today was another lovely day, which we took with us to a beach on the Fife coast.  There is a craze at the moment for hiding painted stones for others to find and relocate to a spot of the finders choice.  We have been hunting around our local area, but had to hop over the Kincardine Bridge before we had any luck 😉 we discovered a lovely rock on the beach (from a nursery in those parts), and then Eldest and Hubby found three more beauties on their trek in the nearby woods. (Youngest’s legs were hurting, so I’d taken him back to the car for chat and cuddles)

The boys rehid the first rock on the beach, but have taken the other three home with us to plant wherever our next adventure takes us!  So grateful to the artists of these rocks, the boys loved looking at them.  We have painted some rocks too, but they are not varnished yet – must get onto that this week!

Youngest with a rock from the Daisychain Nursery Eldest with a 'Fife Rock' Eldest with a 'Fife Rock' Youngest with a 'Fife Rock'

 

My prompt for today was centred around whether I felt like I had specialised in any particular field during my life.  That somehow turned into a poem about measuring adulthood by deed…

 

‘They’ say that if, by forty,

You haven’t made the grade

At being fully functional

(Seldom adulting, in spades)

Then: “pressure’s off, it’s over!

You can relax now – just ‘be’!

You have lasted as a kiddie

Those grown-ups feel jealousy!!”

 

But what if you have avenues

You still want to explore,

Just woke up late, feel panicked,

Are left limping for the door?

The boys enjoying the beach

What if it isn’t that you aren’t

A fully fledged expert

At over-caring, worrying,

And slaying laundry dirt?

 

(Ok your cooking’s not that great,

Your house is pretty trashed,

Christmas seems to ambush you;

All your shoes are scraped and bashed…)

 

But you’ve a sense that destiny’s not ‘done’

It’s just biding its time,

Somehow this chaos that you’ve lived

Is fuelling the sublime;

That purpose and fulfilment may

Between the school bells lie,

A higher self just floating in

Forgiving, rainbowed, skies…?

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

 

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Profession

Childhood, Other Poetry, Parenting, Relationships 1 Comment »

Hey 🙂

I am coming to this screen late, having spent all day endeavouring to keep the kids happily away from devices.  The weather has been glorious, which helped a lot.

Our boys have: ridden on their bikes and scooters, had time walking with a parent each, squabbled over helping me prep/stir/splop fruit muffins to be eaten after dinner, marvelled at the bumpy covers on the notebooks that arrived for them, talked a lot about how yummy fruit is and how excited they are to be promised smoothies tomorrow, helped the hatching dino out of its ‘egg’ that is slowly expanding in a glass of water…and the scallywags trashed the playroom together at least twice!

My journal prompt for the 6th of May asks me to ponder a career achievement I have made. This segued into the below:

 

Each baked-on crust

A perfect clust-

er of my frazzled deeds,

A tugged apron

(Strings frayed), a con, 

As out of chores they plead.

 

This signifies

My many “why?!”s

Are not far off the mark;

I turn and say 

(To my dismay)

“C’mon, let’s hit the park…”

 

It was a magical mystery tour with Eldest that I ended up suggesting in reality – he sometimes just needs to go wandering for a few miles, in order to get him in a better mood and away from bickering with his brother.

Eldest took me down the cycle path and across the main road, through a big field and over the stile to the canal towpath.  We walked homewards from there, loving the sun warming our backs while we watched all the lambs on the opposite bank calling for their mothers and snuggling in for milk.

Just before the final path down to our neighbourhood, however, Eldest spotted a steep shortcut up a grassy slope that would take us to the start of a bridge across the canal.  After a bit of briar negotiation, he made it up and was eager to explore.  I scrambled after him, and pointed out that it was already getting near dinnertime, and that we were so close to our usual path, etc.  Eldest did acquiesce, but his eyes slayed me and it was such a lovely late afternoon…

Over the bridge there were fields of sheep and cattle on both sides at first, but that soon gave way to a forested area, where our dirt path continued. Wooden walkways had been provided for rather marshier parts, and Eldest was both curious about and dismissive of these. I was loving the light play through the leaves and wanting to take pictures, Eldest kept pressing onwards!

Eventually, just as I was beginning to worry that we were a little lost and had maybe taken a few too many turns through the trees to remember our way back (!) we emerged into a housing estate.  I let Eldest lead me into a tangle of a few more windy pavements, but then we decided to stop and type a street name into Google maps to ascertain how far from dinner we had wandered.

It turned out we were in the next village to ours, and an estimated 29 minutes (1.1 miles) from home.  Eldest smiled and took my hand, and we discussed all the different types of housing stock we could see, how people laid out their gardens and what we would maybe try to take in on our next walk, as we headed for the long road down to the train station, and more familiar territory.

We’d left around 4.30pm and clattered in at 6pm – absolutely ravenous – to Youngest saying “Yaay! You’re just in time for tea!” and Hubby loading our plates!  (Luckily Youngest had been a little less adventurous and only asked to walk around the block with his dad…)

With a family chase-me stint in our street this morning, stories of two different expeditions to share over dinner, and homemade muffins to savour for dessert, I think this was a pretty fulfilling day for all concerned.  Who needs screens when you have sunshine and each other?!

*Still pats her lovely red laptop to ensure its loyalty…*

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Accumulative

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting 2 Comments »

How do? 🙂

I have been thinking about what I deserve (and what I use) in my journal today.

 

I earned this –

A cup of hot coffee

In a quiet lounge, dishevelled by life.

 coffee in bed

The low thrum of discontent

Is purring in my lap;

Keeping one beady eye on the dust motes.

 

Pound signs accrue

In every creative thought –

I again swallow guilt with my beverage.

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

[Pic is from here]

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Success

Mental Health, Other Poetry No Comments »

Hello 🙂

I have been journaling around the idea of ‘success’ today…so I wrote an acrostic of it 😉

words associated with 'success'

 

Sucks to be me:

Understand that I am fragile,

Caress my ego before the

Cesspit of despair

Eats any progress you make.

Sit with me, and speak of victimisation;

Start a dialogue with dread.

 

 

[Pic is from here]

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

 

 

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

What Remains

Childhood, Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting, Relationships No Comments »

Hiya

As much as I don’t want to put bad thoughts out into the universe and somehow magically bring them into being, I have very recurring worries as a parent.  The responsibilities are hard to switch off from, and my imagination can be a very dark place…

I struggle to get enough sleep overnight as my boys are restless sleepers at the best of times, but especially when they are having a growth spurt; which seems to follow closely on the heels of their birthdays!

Eldest has been having rather loud disagreements in his dreams (which he rarely remembers) this last week, and I am extra attuned to noises in the night at the moment with the boys only just over tummy bugs. Eldest is up really early because he becomes super hungry… I’m overtired and sleepy during the day just now, and relying on the odd nap with Youngest to buoy me whenever Hubby is around to collect Eldest from school.

The below came (in the early hours of today, while I listened to Eldest) from a nagging doubt of mine as I parent in this state…

 

The first thing I heard

Was the last sound he made;

As the breath escaped

Only my name remained.

And his body was warm

But the soul had not deigned

To wait for me.

 picture with a sky full of forboding

The blue lights

And the tears…

Cold tragedy.

 

That sleep I had resigned to stole my peace,

The price he paid will always be too steep;

My angel boy, adrift from mother’s arms,

Forsaken by my dulled panic alarm.

 

 

[Pic is from here

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Weeding

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hey there!

Staying very much on the ‘career’ theme of journaling as the book appears to be doing this month, I have been turning my thoughts back to the decluttering drive that has become slightly off track this last month or so.  It is a well worn statement that we have to make room for new things to come into our lives, and come August I will have both my kids at school, and a chance to explore how I wish to fill my days.

I think I have also been affected by the audio series I have been addicted to this last week: Where Shall We Begin with Esther Perel.  If you are an Audible member and are intrigued by the thought of being allowed to listen into a couple’s therapy session, you may find this free series fascinating, too!! 

Whatever percolated it, the poem below is what emerged today:

 

I need this space.

Please leave me: token of remorse.

Please leave me: unfinished promise.

Please leave me: battered, torn hope.

 hearts on cords

With every card I unearth

I read the encouragement

Of another human hand on mine.

 

 

I may hoard them,

But their message

Once was lost.

 

In weeding out the bitterness

Their words at last take hold.

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

[Pic is from here]

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Privilege

Other Poetry No Comments »

Hi 🙂

I have written around my journal prompt for today, and it asked me to ponder the best bits of my career.  I realised that the things that have cheered me most have happened outside of ‘work’ and could probably be put in the bracket of ‘creative exploration’ or even ‘fun’.

This poem came out of that train of thought:

 

In my privilege:

The stepping out

Of the circle of regret.

 

Embracing the healing arts,

Expressing the soul river;

Flowing with my interests.

hand about to draw something

 

What if

Every therapy session

Was plastered across my home –

Your home –

Random stones for children,

A couple of million computer screens;

 

Kept someone ‘up’ in a sad moment?

 

What if

Every day

I strove to make this pain

A tangible beauty?

 

Or at least a spider scrawl

Limping towards completion,

Scattering its webs around

In the hope one may hold firm?

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

[Pic is from here]

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Me

Other Poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hello

I am backdating this, as I did write it on the date above, but was exhausted from my day (and probably from National Poetry Month?!) so I curled up with a Kindle Book instead of finishing this post 😉

I have bought The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime in Kindle format, too; and decided that I would start straight away and see if I could not only journal about each prompt, but get a poem out of it as well!

The below came from my scribbles, the evening of the 1st of May:

 

A squirrel of knowledge

Storing tid-bits

For conversations

That may happen hence

(This book/

That site/

Those videos

May save you.)

triangle

 

A spinner of stories,

Explainer of everyday

(In flagrantly fancy funicular fashion)

 

A ditzy detailer, dancing

With melancholic memories.

 

Ferociously foraging

For finite fathomableness.

 

What is strange is that after I wrote this poem, the lovely Sandy wrote a very flattering comment to me on Facebook (in response to a post about me being proud of my #NaPoWriMo efforts) which ended:

“It’s like you’re rummaging through words and then stringing them into something beautiful to read”

I feel Sandy got the essence of my creative process spot on, and also continued the theme of tonight’s poem! I loved playing with alliteration in this piece.  The end result may not be beautiful every time, but it usually makes part of me smile.  It cheers me to think my readers feel like that too!

*Waves to Sandy from the screen*

 

[Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9; Pic is from here]

 

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Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

A Matter Of Fact (#NaPoWriMo Day 30)

#NaPoWriMo, Other Poetry 2 Comments »

Heylooo!

On this, the last day of NaPoWriMo 2018, I wrote three jaunty verses to fulfil the prompt of: “write a poem that engages with a strange and fascinating fact” 😉

 

In Sweden it’s illegal

To vote for Donald Duck

(So if you’re slightly quackers,

I guess you’re out of luck)

 

‘Robot’ is a Slavic word

For ‘slave labour’ – it’s true!

(So think of this the next time

Your Roombas suck crumbs for you)

 

And octopus intelligence

Is crafty and profound,

They’ll sneak onto a fishing boat

Munch crabs without a sound….

 

 

I hope you have enjoyed my journey through my first national poetry month – it’s been fun coming up with pieces every day!

 

[Pic is from here]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

 

 

Cowardly Caterwaul (#NaPoWriMo Day 29)

#NaPoWriMo, Other Poetry, Relationships No Comments »

Hi!

I’m on the penultimate poem of my first crack at National Poetry Month!  Wow!

The prompt was to go and pick a Silvia Plath poem from the selection linked, and write my own piece that related to it in some way.  I chose The Courage Of Shutting-Up which I read for the first time this evening and love 😉

Here is my response:

 

COWARDLY CATERWAUL

 

I knew it!  I knew it!

He’s done it again,

I’m rubbing my nails on my top;

Shining the claws

Before digging them in

(With teeth just behind them in line)

shouting woman

 

A worm-turn,

A blasting,

A full-throttle ride out

Of everything I think is true.

 

A cartoon-like rattling,

A pepp’ring of flesh;

And a dead man: tripped up and confused…

 

[Pic is from here]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!