More Musings

Other Poetry No Comments »

Hey there 🙂

My journaling threw up a poem that seems to be a continuation of this one, except today the speaker appears to be in conversation with her Muse after 18 months or so.

 

“So!” she sighs, with liquid eyes,

“I did as I was bidden:

I wrote (I choked) I sometimes float

These crafty waves I’ve ridden”

Mr Muse

 

“Ah yes,” he smiles, engaging wiles

She’d hoped he’d long forgotten;

“But you and I know that you hide

The parts most ripe and rotten!

I tasked you well, can you not tell

Epiphanies are bigger

When you are brave?  Oh please! Behave!

Creation is not rigour!”

 

Mr Muse is still impishly strident, isn’t he?!

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Gifts Of The Past?

Mental Health, Other Poetry No Comments »

Hi!

After a ponder about being kind to myself yesterday, I stayed up til 2am to devour the Kindle version of Turn Towards The Sun by Emma Davis WHOLE. (It’s the sequel to Letting In Light which I finished yesterday morning). I can’t remember the last time I let myself do that!! It made me feel amazing, I love a bit of chick lit now and then 😉

My journal prompt asked me to consider how my past equipped me for my present. This poem popped out:

 

Oppression,

Depression,

Obsession with impressions.

Train wreck

 

Deflation

Of elation

At thoughts ‘above my station’.

 

A vocation of creation

Seems to promise my salvation.

 

Ok then…! 

Moving swiftly on…

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Count

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting 2 Comments »

Hello 🙂

Today the kids (as has happened every day since we came back from West Cork) decided that they ‘only’ want to play sporty stuff in the garden with Daddy, not go somewhere further afield.  I am an optional extra to their plans, as Hubby is on annual leave.

I chose to stay in, and journaled around today’s question in Hannah Braime’s book, about how I could be kind to myself…

 

When I am old

Yes, today may not ‘count’:

The cups of tea I drank,

The songs I sang;

The smiles my husband gave while chasing balls

Swatted back to him by little hands.

Woman holding an hourglass

 

In futures hence, this solitude means naught:

The dust motes that I noted

Pages read;

The sunbeams that I savoured just through glass

Yesterday’s hair I still sported in bed.

 

A busy world undoes the fragile link

One has with breath and thought and calm and peace;

A tip towards the chasm/

Thirsty soul

Has me running for quiet release.

It is a pretzel twist I get into:  I had time to myself and was ‘still’ – but busy – and ultimately have now shared my solitude with the world.

So was Art the point here, or have I missed it?!

Was I being kind to myself letting the poetry come through me, or was I just dwelling on things as usual…?

😉

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Explained Absence

Parenting, Things I Made This Week No Comments »

Hello, all!!

 

How have you been?!

 

Blogging fatigue

I have read that bloggers get to a point, after a year or so in, where they find it all overwhelming.  I slammed into that unwelcome milestone around mid-May.

I beat myself up about things like this, but the truth is that I have never been comfortable with a lot of ‘musts’ at once, so sometimes I abruptly drop the non-essentials and refocus to keep sane.  The mothering side of my life got steadily more intense this last school term, and I also had a few health niggles that were slowing me down, so I decided to not let the blog become something I resented instead of the source of release and pride it had been up til then.

Thanks to all those who asked after me and my writings, it’s nice to know I was missed!

 

Bring on the holidays!

Youngest has now left nursery behind him for ever, Eldest has finished Primary 3, and we have entered the third week of the (Scottish) summer holidays as a family unit (Hubby is on annual leave).  We have directed our attention towards decluttering our garage once and for all in the afternoons, having spent lots of quality time with the kids in the mornings.

We all flew back from West Cork on the evening of The statue of Danno O'Mahoney. He became the world heavyweight wrestling champion in 1935. Signature move: The Irish WhipFriday the 13th(!), after a gloriously sunny time with Hubby’s parents and brothers.  We managed to: celebrate my Mother In Law’s birthday, hit 3 beaches in 5 days, visit more family members, see the Schull Sunday Market, wander around the Model Railway Village in Clonakilty and pose with the statue of Danno the Wrestler (to whom Hubby is distantly related) in Ballydehob; among other things.

We did not have access to WiFi in the cottage that we rented for the week, and we flew over, so I didn’t bring my fully-functioning laptop for blog/Facebook updates while away.  I do have a few photos to share from our trip, however.  You will see that our boys and their uncles continued cementing their friendship for the duration 😉

 

The two sets of brothers at Barley Bay, West Cork, Ireland Eldest surveying the view at the Model Railway Village, Clonakilty Youngest controlling a model boat at the Model Railway Village, Clonakilty Spot of chess with an uncle Our boys with their dad and uncle at The Warren, Rosscarbery, West Cork

 

Crocheted Creations

Although May and June seemed awash with events to help with Youngest’s transition into Primary one/birthday parties to attend/Primary Three homework and endless notable dates…etc etc…I did let my creative side out to play now and then.

I made a ‘worry holder’ (as opposed to a ‘worry eater’) for a friend who had suffered a recent bereavement, adapting this pattern by Sarah Sloyer (@critterbeans on Instagram).  I held two strands of yarn together so that the finished cat came out bigger, added a pocket on the front to slip pieces of paper into, and made the front paws longer (and stripy to match her back) so that I could position them to appear ‘huggable’.  I chose to make her have closed eyes to try and put across a non-judgemental vibe, as sometimes what comes up in grief can seem trivial or self-indulgent, but needs to be expressed nonetheless.

To me, the cat appeared matronly and as if she could make one a nice cup of tea in the end, so I was pleased with her 😉

Next, I whipped up this little pattern by PurpleDragon57, for another friend who was also needing a yarny hug.  I went with the colours of a well-known beagle, and had fun doing it!  (Youngest gave it extra hugs to send along before I packaged it up)

 

Pièce de résistance?

Then Youngest handed me one of my biggest challenges yet: he drew a picture of his ‘Nursewy Teecha’ and asked me “can you make a dolly of my pictcha, please Mummy?  I think she’d really like that…”.

Youngest's drawing of his 'Nursewy Teecha'

Youngest changed the design brief of her dress and eyelashes to yellow and wanted her hair to be black, but he said that the rest of the dolly should look pretty much like his drawing.  Youngest helped me pick out yarn from my cupboard stash, then came to visit me over the next week or so as I sat near bedroom windows and wrestled with how, exactly, one judges the number of stitches’ difference there should be between a dolly’s lopsided limbs; or where one should hide the stray ends of dark blue yarn so they don’t mar painstakingly worked out yellow stitches…

 

Youngest chose the button for the dolly’s tummy, personally approved the levelling of the plastic eyes, and okayed the length of the toes. He was rather liberal with his praise during the process too, and hugged me a lot, which always helps my critical side to back off!

 

 

A Request

I was also commissioned to write a poem in honour of a 40th birthday, and luckily both the recipient and the ‘client’ were happy with the results.  (I wrote a poem for a Hen Night a few months ago, and that had spurred the request). It is satisfying to collect someone’s personal anecdotes and details, and then weave them into rhyming lines for them.  I might do more of this kind of work in the future…

 

Audible Goodies

My journaling may have fallen by the wayside a bit through the busy Spring/Summer term, but I am still very interested in all the psychological insights my Audible library’s picks have been turning up for me. I started listening to The Awakened Family by Dr. Shefali Tsabury the day I finished her first book, then alternated this with incessantly consuming the Audible series Kick-Ass With Mel Robbins.

Have I mentioned before how much I like these two ladies’ take on life?!

I found myself giggling on the school run come mid-June, while listening to David R Hamilton’s self-depreciating tales in I ♥ Me: The Science of Self-Love.  I also realised his musings on consciousness match up to my personal suspicions…

 

A Series – of Unfortunate Events

There is a free (to members) Audible series I have listened to in its entirety twice over these last few weeks:  West Cork by Jennifer Forde and Sam Bungey.  This tells the sad (and yet often bizarre) tale of Sophie Toscan du Plantier’s (true) unsolved murder, that occured near Schull in West Cork just before Christmas 1996 – and the subsequent investigation.  As I mentioned at the start of this post, my family and I are just back from West Cork: we hired a cottage not far from Schull and we even visited the Sunday market and saw the ‘main suspect’ at his stall (we had planned to go to the market anyway, then Hubby and I were listening to episode 9 together on the Saturday night and it dawned on us who we might see there).

It is a surreal experience to walk up to someone, knowing so much but being a stranger.   I just attempted to look through the ‘paranoids’ that he wears – and smiled. He smiled back after a second…and then my boys pulled me away to look elsewhere.

 

On a Lighter Note

As a bit of a reprieve from all this deep serious stuff, I have downloaded Agatha Christie’s Poirot’s Finest Cases to my Audible account (why do I find more tales of murder comforting?!) and Emma Davies’ Letting In Light to my Kindle app (with audio added), and I am enjoying them while doing housey things, and in between hanging out with the kids and Hubby.

Sunset on Friday 13th, flying towards Edinburgh airport

 

So, I think I have had quite a varied sojourn away from the blog, but it’s high time I scooted back here and did some regular writing again.

Any requests/suggestions/orders…??

😀

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

 

Present Expertise

Childhood, Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting, Relationships No Comments »

Hey there 🙂

I am still digesting all that I heard in the audiobook The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary, which I finished two days ago – and I am already mainlining her second book The Awakened Family on Audible!  

She talks about children being masters of living in the present moment, and how this is an absolute GIFT to their parents (if only we saw it as such).  It is scary when I view my kids through her eyes…but it can only make me a better mother and person, right?! 

 

I watch you revelling in your inner world

And wonder how mine splintered off so far;

The beauty that you witness all around

The doors leading off that you see ajar…

Youngest, Legoing Eldest leading me higher

Forgive me for my fearfulness and pain

In not reaching yet who I need to be,

Thank you for all the ways you display grace

And guide me home, through storm clouds, towards me.

 

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Perspective

Health, Mental Health, Other Poetry No Comments »

Hi 🙂

I have swapped the poem that I wrote today for this one that was written after the passing of Stephen Hawking in March of this year.

I have decided to use today’s poem elsewhere 😉

 

The sound of space

Seems familiar to me:

The tuneless roar

Whilst spinning in blackness –

Finally revelling

In the blue beauty of Earth

 Astronaut floating near Earth

I hope that one bound by paralysis

Again found joy

In that sight.

 

Unshackled, weightless,

Tipping off his axis;

Finally gaining answers

He’d yet to uncover.

 

[Pic is from here]

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Smoke

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting 2 Comments »

Hello!

I was pondering where my niche may be, today.

All this journaling and thinking has made me crave the cigarettes I gave up for good in my late twenties.  I’m sure that this is significant and means I should keep probing 😉

 

In imaginary smoke

I puff out all

The indignities.

 Woman smoking in band t-shirt

Part of me still insists

I look cool in these shades.

 

In my head, it’s purple dusk.

(Those sunglasses rendered useless).

 

Enigmatically I stand:

In a long coat,

Hair in a quiff.

 

Back here, in reality,

Another school day begins.

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

Mirror

Mental Health, Other Poetry No Comments »

Hey 🙂

When my journal prompt asked me to consider what kind of person I was in relation to others, this came up:

 

Not dyeing my hair,

Becoming someone else

(More familiar than myself)

In each mirror.

 

And pretending that’s ok.

 House of cards

I pay

In spades.

 

Instead of seeing hearts

Unmasked and open:

 

Just clubs

Pounding snubs

To which this diamond is beholden.

 

Cheery…

 

 

[Pic is from here]

 

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

 

 

Balance

Mental Health, Other Poetry, Parenting, Relationships No Comments »

Hello 🙂

This foray came to me while pondering ‘balance’ in my journal:

Person on a tight-rope over a canyon

 

Which scale should I measure from?

What fool would proclaim balance –

In any form –

Lives here?

 

This photograph is propaganda:

There’s no telling where our minds were

When we posed for this.

 

A decade ago

Was a different skin.

It began to peel

As my stitches healed.

 

Those surgeons pulled out multiple lives;

Sliced through more than meat.

 

The scar is growing fainter,

Subsumed by metamorphic grace.

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Wrapped Up In Hours

Other Poetry 2 Comments »

Hey 🙂

 

Today’s journal prompt touched on my tendency to procrastinate. 

This led to thoughts of hesitation, which in turn became:

 

When I look at each day

And I try to relay

All the hopelessness wrapped up in hours,

You tell me how I

Have no right to reply

In this manner: come across a coward.

 

A woman on the train tracks in the dark, with a lantern

It is true that I’m blessed –

I feel guilty and stressed

That I’m coping this badly, so please:

Don’t scoff or roll eyes

At my anguished cries,

Drowning out on society’s seize. 

 

Just having a brain

Doesn’t mean I refrain

From being unequipped, and dumb.

What comes out of my mouth

Can show a ‘logic drowth’;

But I won’t just dry up/cut and run…

 

 

[Pic is from here]

[I am currently journaling (and writing poems) around prompts from The Year Of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts For Creative Self Discovery by Hannah Braime – Kindle ASIN: B076Z6Y5L9]

 

Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2018  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!