Parenting, Random poetry Add comments

Hiya 😀

From Randomlists

The speaker in today’s poem morphed while I was writing about her.  Right in front of my eyes, on the video screen in my head!

At the start she was a high-heeled lady getting changed for a night out, and then by the second verse she…well, see for yourself!




Zip  Mysterious  Home  Pushy  Report  Military  Calculator  Chalk   Follow


My zip got stuck

In that mysterious turn

That never occurs when you’re home.

The pushy woman outside

Of the toilet-stall door

Then saw fit to report that I’m selfish!


In my military voice

(That I use on the kids)

I barked “Shut up!” and wiggled some more.

She (no calculator of

Mood, clearly, then) proceeded

To SCREAM her reply.


Before thought cut in,

I was out of that stall

My unwashed hands ‘round her neck!

Chalk it all up to hormones

In court case to follow

(For PEACE, I’ll have junior in jail)


Notebook scribbles

So, where did that curveball come from?!

I have had a head cold, replete with cough, off and on since January – and I am so faaaar into being fed up with it.   I think this is the fourth recurrence in about 7 weeks.  I reckon that means I must be pretty infectious? Our youngest is also on his fourth, as is hubby (Eldest is on his second) – so the lovely friend’s baby shower I was meant to attend today had to be bowed out of.  (I remember that colds when you’re full of baby are even more pants than this!!)

Thoughts of pregnancy being uppermost in my mind this afternoon kind of explains why my speaker turned out the way she did 😉

Public toilets were always an issue for me when I was preggers.  My bumps seemed to be extra big from quite early on, and toilet cubicles suddenly became very small.  It didn’t seem right, even although I had crutches for my first and should have had them for my second, to use the disabled toilets ‘just’ for being unwieldy and sore.  So I found myself squeezing around doors, that slammed against roll dispensers if not handled properly, then trying to get said door closed while not brushing the backs of my jeans against the toilet…!

I didn’t wear many things that needed to be zipped up while I was pregnant, but the frustration of a wardrobe malfunction is well known to most of us, I’d wager? I was partial to a preggy meltdown or two as well, so I can see how the combination of zip and rage would result in an assault given the right circumstances…

(Why are there never enough cubicles in a ladies’ toilet, once you exclude the two that are permanently blocked ?!  You’d think that wouldn’t be an issue in the 21st century, but still it remains)


Have you any pregnancy/toilet/wardrobe nightmares to tell me? Go on, go on, go on…

[Photo credit: Pixabay]

Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved
Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!


Leave a Reply