What Price Joy?

Mental Health, Random poetry, Relationships Add comments

Hello!  *Waves at the screen*

How are you all doing today?

from textfixer.com

I had never heard of the term joypop before, how sheltered have I been?! 

I used to get dizzy from my first cigarette of the day in my teens and twenties, I throw up if I drink Red Bull, and I am the ultimate lightweight when it comes to alcohol; so I keep away from the harder  recreational drugs 😉 

It’s not as if I’ve never had the chance to hang with people who were into them, however…!

I have, of course, heard of bad trips. 

I looked at the words around ‘joypop’ and decided that was the direction to go in.


Personal   Column   Elephants   Total   Silence   Joypop   Entity   Nineteen   Wife

I had this personal idea

That it would be like

Some cartoon.


A column of dancing elephants

Or a gorgeous, tranquil garden.



A sudden epiphany in

The near total silence of a

Sweet starry night.


But that ‘joypop’ released

An entity within

So terrible…


My whole nineteen years

Seeming to cascade

Into nothingness.


Then – dark, dark, tumult.

The seering pain of thoughts.

The horror.


And still, surrounded by love,

That trip into hell

Haunts me now.


My poor wife: helpless.

As I wake: sweating.

Tortured.  Alone.


Etched in green

I feel for the speaker, it must be awful to have something experimental that you did when you were a teenager still have unsettling repercussions on your life now. 

To think of the many times I could have been hurt or killed with some of the stupid situations I put my younger self in…!

It’s the feeling of the world being a vast open space to explore, and us not really believing we can be taken down at that age, isn’t it?

Have you any confessions of teenage mischief you wish to share with me in the comments, joypopping or otherwise?! 

I’m all…eyes!


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Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

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