The Broken

Facebook Collaborations, Mental Health, Random Short Stories Add comments



The lovely Sandy was back in control today, with these inspirations –


Title: The broken

Prompt: Her mind was shattered

Form: Story


Here is what I wrote:

A row of dead winged bodies lined the back of the sink.  There was even one still buzzing weakly in some cold coffee dregs.

Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?!

It looks like the backstroke, sir…mental health word grid

The bottle lay on the counter top, glowing.  Later, the nurse would ask why the goop inside smelled so vile and had to be quite as bright an orange.  Right now, the headache was all she knew, and all that mattered –

“What’s the matter, hen?”

A non-committal reply as she broke the seal.

“You no’ feelin’ right?  You look a bit peaky, right enough.  There’s a bug goin’ about.  My niece had it, sick for three days straight, ended up in hospital on a drip…”

The little measuring cup had a line that she needed to fill it to.  She did so.

Her colleague left.

She downed the liquid.  It tasted of synthetic oranges.  The mirror at the coatrack confirmed she was pale.

She could hear her boss in the next room, ranting about something as usual.  He had ignored her all day: an ominous spectre at the shoe exchange, a dark presence on the bowling lanes.  Watching.

She filled the cup three more times.

Back to the washed-out face by the coats.  Maybe she could just leave…?

“You’ve left a bit of your medicine, hen”

“Oh. Thanks.” She downed the last vile drop, and grimaced.

“No’ nice, eh?”


Within twenty minutes she was laughing at her huge pupils in another mirror, her worried family on their way.  The nurse screamed at her for a further twenty minutes when she got to the hospital.

They all marvelled at how well she could talk with a tube down her throat.


There is no direct reference to ‘her’ mind being shattered, but I feel our main character here is suffering some mental distress…! 

Another good word tally (289) which I am happy about 🙂 thanks again for all your prompts Sandy, sorry the ‘old’ joints got in my way and stopped me working on this sooner! 

I’m really hoping this is the beginning of the end of my discomfort as I cleaned most of the kitchen, put away two baskets of dry washing and even did a bit of vacuuming today. The house ‘sorely’ needed it, believe me!! I am suffering a bit for this push (!) but at least the laptop on my legs is not sparking the rashes it was on Monday…

I will try and write more new material tomorrow 🙂


[Pic is from here]


Come visit the Facebook page and follow @ComfyRestless on Twitter

Copyright © 2017  Montaffera All Rights Reserved

Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: