Hiya! 😉
From randomwordgenerator
I always think of Miss Piggy when I say that greeting!
The idea for the first line of today’s poetic offering came to me when I read ‘assembly’, but (as you will see from my almost illegible notebook page) I tweaked the order of the words I first came up with. It wasn’t until I got to the second verse of my poem I realised that the rhythm wasn’t working for me, and also figured out what the little scene I was trying to create was all about. So that’s when the major scribbles happened 😉
I think the person the speaker is describing may be channelling Miss Piggy a bit, too?!
Assembly Compact Axis Tumble Liability Flash Heroin Attitude Loyalty
“Well, life’s instructions for assembly
Are not fixed” She twitters, with a smile;
As she turns and waves to friends, I just wonder
How someone ‘close’ to me could ever be so vile.
She takes that last little look in her compact,
Blows a kiss, sets her eyes straight ahead;
My whole world spinning off of its axis –
But she must focus on herself instead.
I wonder just how far I could tumble
Become a liability, too much;
Whether any flash of decency would seize her
Through my heroin-fuelled depressions (or such).
Her attitude, actually, makes me ponder,
And realise that I can do this ok;
Just because, as a mother, she’s no loyalty
Does not mean that I’ve got to be that way…
So the first verse used to read:
“Well, you know life doesn’t come
With assembly instructions.”
She smiled in that way
That makes my heart sink so far.
Notebook massacre!
But I like the replacement, and I’m glad I fitted it into my 15 minutes, as it better shows the character I was trying to build (and now rhymes, as the rest of the piece seemed to ask to). [What’s with this rhyming sneaking in? How much of my life is, in fact, not my own free will…?]
The last line of the second verse jars with me. I think if it was ‘her precious self’ in place of ‘herself’ it would scan properly?
When I stopped faffing with the first two verses, I glanced at the timer and realised that I had just over 5 minutes left in which to try and fit 6 words into the “story” I had begun; and that I wasn’t entirely sure what rhyming metre I was using…bit scary, no? I wrote the next two verses in about 4 minutes because I had time to circle the six words and correct the last line before the beeper went off 😛
Reading this over, it is still a relationship, there are still lots of questions and there should be an interesting backstory to conjure up…but it doesn’t appear to involve a man (though I suppose you could read it as a male speaker, and take a different conclusion from the last line than I had in mind at the time of writing)
Which nuance of ‘assembly’ and ‘compact’ would you have written about? What would your “scene” have involved?
I look forward to reading your comments…
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