Hi-ho Sijo – Day Twenty – #NaPoWriMo21

#NaPoWriMo21, Mental Health, Other Poetry Add comments

Hiya 😊

The NaPoWriMo site said:

Our (optional) prompt for the day is to write a sijo. This is a traditional Korean poetic form. Like the haiku, it has three lines, but the lines are much longer. Typically, they are 14-16 syllables, and optimally each line will consist of two parts – like two sentences, or a sentence of two clauses divided by a comma. In terms of overall structure, a sijo functions like an abbreviated sonnet, in that the first line sets up an inquiry or discussion, the second line continues the discussion, and the third line resolves it with a “twist” or surprise. For more on the sijo, check out the primer here and a long list of examples in English, here.

 

I found this tricky.  I wanted to write something quickly because I started late, but I had to slow down and think about how I was supposed to construct this Sijo.  How annoying, huh?

So:

3-4-4-4 (15)

3-4-4-4 (15)

3-5, 4-3 (15)

is the syllable pattern outlined in the first link the site gave me, and it has to go: line one = theme  line two = elaboration and then line three = twist and conclusion.

this was my first one:

A perfect, well-positioned, all mod-conned out, marital home.

Village life, four gorgeous kids, decent cars and a well-paid job.

Alcohol.  Covid takes its toll. Sudden lay-offs – depression.

 

Unfortunately, it’s clunky and cobbled together.  I had one more try:

In my tree, the fluffy clouds form pictures and sometimes birds come.

I stay still, listening hard.  It smells like rain and foliage.

My children call me down for tea.  I hid my pills by the swing.

 

There’s so much to poetry that I only learn through these prompts!  I like the second one better, but I’ll still not be winning any competitions with a Sijo just yet 😉

It’s nearly kid collecting time again!

Take care and I’ll ‘see’ you on the flip side…can you believe that’s me two thirds of the way through NaPo for another year?!

 

Monty X

[pic is from here]

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4 Responses to “Hi-ho Sijo – Day Twenty – #NaPoWriMo21”

  1. Jane Wright Says:

    I also prefer the second one which is rather pleasingly thought provoking

  2. Montaffera Says:

    🙂 It hides the inner workings of the form better, I feel, and the reader can just focus on the content.

  3. Manja Mexi Says:

    Ohh, I really love the second one. Not just because In My Tree is one of my favourite songs (by Pearl Jam). 😉

  4. Montaffera Says:

    Aww yaay 🙂 I always feel I lean out of my tree a lot 😂

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