A Comfy Kind Of Restless

Hiya 😊

Today was one for the history books (drumroll please…) Youngest not only walked all the way to nursery, he also walked ALL the way back again!  He was so chuffed with himself!!  Eldest was pretty impressed when he heard, too. 

From Textfixer

Youngest made fairly good time as well, I was surprised to find that it was around the usual hour  for lunch when we stopped taking celebratory pictures, and went in.   Unfortunately I didn’t take any blog-safe snaps, they were all crazy-face/fist-pump ones that would lose their flavour if I cropped his features out of them!

Youngest was feeling the determination quite a bit this afternoon, actually, because we also had this conversation:

Me: Don’t stand on the ants! How would you like it if a giant came and squashed you?!

Y: *no hesitation, so I feel he may have considered this scenario before…* I’d chop-chop-chop dat beanstalk, and it would go “arrrgh!” and fall in the water!  Dat what I’d do…!

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about the persona we show to the world, as opposed to our true selves.  Today I had a friend over for impromptu tea and sympathy, and I liked her even more by the end of our chat.  It was one of those conversations where I was gifted more of the background pieces that make up the beautiful caring whole; and hearing her passion and reasoning just made me so happy to know her. 

I hate my friends being at all conflicted, but sometimes I look at them while they share their heart, and just feel immensely proud that I have such complex and strong women around me 😉

All this good feeling did not really fit with the words I got today, however, so instead there appears to be a darker side to presenting the world with a certain image of one’s self…

Binocular  Jump  Equal  Messiah  Bacteria  Guru  Empire  Balcony  Dynamic

Under his binocular microscope

Everyone’s life would squirm.

He would jump to conclusions

And make himself out to be

Equal to the messiah of reason.

Each bacteria he spied blooming

He would offer a cure for –

Assert that his guru empire

Was brought about by solid principles,

Meticulously adhered to.

Only his close associates knew

The many times he’d teetered

On a lofty roof or balcony;

His loose morals tearing at his conscience,

Those dynamic words but grave dust in the wind.

There is much written about social media making people anxious because of perceived inferiority,  compared to their colleagues and friends.  The more I read into running a blog, advertising and ‘building a brand’, the more I realise that perception is everything.  This is isolating, and intimidating, if we analyse it a bit.

I do seem to spend a lot of time chatting to people on the return school run (whether I know them or not!) and one thing I hear myself repeating is assurances that I don’t mind hearing their disquiet at things in their life.  That the other person doesn’t need to apologise for having a less-than-positive outlook, because it is actually allowed. 

We are not able to wander about with a spring in our step all the time: people get ill, circumstances grow bleak, hearts become heavy.  If a raincloud is following someone around, I don’t want them to feel I’ll judge them for it.  I am not as fond of fair weather as some, I walk in all climes.  I’m Scottish, after all 😉

[“‘Mon the melancholy! Welcome, yah Moanin’ Missy!“]

It’s the words that I get lost in, the stories that burrow into my subconscious and let me feel what it is like to be in someone else’s life.  There is a vibrancy to a tale that’s soaked in feelings less palatable to society.  There is a real truth in the things that make us rise to challenges and face parts of ourselves that are not ‘safe’ or broken-in properly – parts that might say something that can’t be erased…and might not actually be too sorry about it…

It’s a big journey, and we are all pretending we have a clue as to how our accoutrements are packed; but we all rock up at our destinations with ransacked baggage and dirty laundry. 

It’s silly to pretend we don’t!!

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