Cut

Mental Health, Random poetry, Relationships Add comments

Hello 🙂

This will be scraping midnight before it is published, but we had homework and socialising to do today 😉

Patiently waiting his turn, while I admired his curls!

Both of my boys were invited to a party at soft play this afternoon.  They loved it!  Eldest is very proud of his giraffe tattoo, and Youngest looked very cute in his Batman face paint, framed as it was by his curls!  They both went daft scaling all the levels of the structures in the place, and generally gambolling about.  Hubby and I got to chat with people and only keep a loose watch over proceedings, which is something we don’t generally have the luxury of!

In the morning, Eldest was stomping around the playroom with Youngest, both attempting the moves to Just Dance 2’s “Walk Like An Egyptian”.  They were so enthusiastic and determined, and made Hubby and me chuckle.

From Textfixer

It’s practice for the parents’ assembly on Tuesday, as Eldest gets to say some lines and showcase some of his class’ learning from this term.  I’m really looking forward to it!  He knows his lines off by heart, even although some of the words are quite tricky to get one’s tongue around!  I’m ridiculously proud of him.

When I saw today’s words after watching our boys dance, I thought that they read like some dramatic screenplay was being performed.  A poem took shape from there.

 

Cut  Fin  Heart  Hidden  Charismatic  Forbidden  Bright  Blackness  Choking

 

It was shouted, so we cut,

And our screen displayed ‘fin’;

Each heart stuffed in our shirts

Bleeding, but still hidden.

His charismatic performance

Was reeled out anew,

Knowing that to falter

Was forbidden.  And you –

As bright as a headlight –

Startled words from my tongue

(As the wallowing blackness

Began choking my lungs)

He gave me not a glance

As he walked from that room,

And you soon followed suit

Leaving me to my gloom.

 

Society’s cosplay is

Harder by far, than the

Lights and the action of

His warm, shooting star.

So I’d rather not partake

Of falseness and fib; but

Live in the realms of feelings

Where I seldom ad lib.

 

Lurid green scribbles

I think that, at the start of this poem, the speaker and the man are either having a serious and emotional talk (heart to heart, if you will!) or are acting, and the scene they have together is full of love tryst elements.

Then either someone interrupts them, or the director does literally shout ‘cut’.  At this moment, the speaker sees a barrier go up in the man, and reflects that he is now having to put on an act (or he’s convincing everyone he’s fine, because to not be is not allowed and seen as weakness, which takes more effort than the scene they were playing before).

The speaker seems to find it impossible to seamlessly fall back into reality, and feels like s/he is frozen in their former emotional role.  S/he doesn’t know how to react to society crashing back in and taking over.  The speaker begins to feel an obviously familiar despair and hopelessness which seems to be stopping them from communicating the way they are forced to by reality/society.

The man walks away without looking back, seeming to choose reality over the complex emotional world of the speaker.  The person who interrupted the speaker leaves too.  The speaker appears to feel more despair…

The last reflections sound to me like the speaker pointing out that reality forces us all to hide our truth more than written script or delving into our feelings ever does.  Maybe that the stage (or screen) is the place where actual reality plays out, as one can explore themselves; and we are all unscripted and awkward in our day to day lives because we never ponder things fully, or let ourselves be vulnerable.  The speaker appears to be saying we try on many more costumes in ‘real life’, we are forever hiding behind them and pretending that they are all that are worth seeing.

The poem doesn’t scan perfectly, but they rarely do within 15 minutes.  I had one minute left after writing this!

Can you relate to the speaker?

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Please do not use any of my content (posts, pictures, poetry etc) without my permission, but feel free to link back to my blog if something catches your eye. Thank you!

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