Cellblock

Mental Health, Random poetry Add comments

Hello!

From Textfixer

Well, I’m not entirely sure what I wrote about tonight…

‘Cellblock’ has even the Urban Dictionary stumped (I’m very disappointed) and, as it wasn’t split into two words on the generator, I couldn’t really get away with using it as patchy phone reception.  Part of a prison it had to be.

I think the worst word was ‘amoebic’.  I looked it up, but again no real inspiration came of it.  I didn’t feel like writing about poop.

*Sigh*

 

Flavoring  Injustice  Healing  Fortune  Cellblock  Empire  Exit  Amoebic  Levitating

 

They may have added flavoring,

But it was still injustice.

No chance of healing

(Or fortune doing anything but leaving)

As I sat in that cellblock;

Waiting.

 

And that lofty little empire

I had dreamed of building

Began to leak from my hopes.

Soon it seeped away completely –

An exit hastened by amoebic purge –

Sluicing.

 

That truth I could not reach for,

That promise of release,

Levitating dangerously close.

They told me it was fantasy;

They drummed in mediocre.

(Ordinary)

 

Having read this quite a few times to myself, I think it may be about high school, and the speaker is bullied there.

Pencil ponderings

The ‘flavoring’ may mean that ‘they’ couch the verbal taunts in such a way that it doesn’t seem that abusive – until you analyze it.

The ‘amoebic purge’ could actually be bulimia, the amoeba being metaphorical: societal expectations infecting the speaker with a skewed perception of their weight (in all senses of the word).

‘The truth’ seems to link back to a feeling of being innocent, of not belonging in the place the speaker is imprisoned.  The fact the speaker ‘could not reach for’ it seems to suggest they have no one in there to advocate for them.

‘That promise of release / Levitating dangerously close’ can be read as a fear of what is beyond high school.  The speaker appears desperate to escape, for their sentence to be over; but is unsure what to do on the outside.  A feeling real prisoners can share.

The last three lines can be seen as referring back to the ones about the speaker’s hopes for greatness draining away.  Their peer group (and maybe the teachers, and the very education system itself) have groomed them to be a clone.  For years the speaker has been told they need to follow conventional paths and that what they really want to do is mere head-in-the-clouds stuff.

Sound plausible?

I could be wrong, I’m only the conduit for this stuff.

 

 

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5 Responses to “Cellblock”

  1. Jane Wright Says:

    You did very well, considering those hopeless words!

  2. Montaffera Says:

    Thanks, it’s always a worry that nothing will happen when I start the timer!!

  3. Katie Says:

    Very powerful. I can relate to the speaker as I was bullied in high school. Your thoughts of your future seem so very uncertain when you have no self worth and you don’t love yourself because of other people’s words and actions.

  4. Montaffera Says:

    Hugs to you, Katie!

    It really is hard being singled out and feeling worthless. One has to work a lot to get out of that kind of thinking, it can destroy so much. I hope you know now that what they said means nothing and you are perfect the way you are xxx

    Today’s poem seems to be the same speaker, hopefully you will relate to them even more 😉 kids permitting, I shall get the new one up before 9pm.

    Thank you for your comment X

  5. A Comfy Kind Of Restless » Blog Archive » Release Says:

    […] speaker in this one, I’m pretty sure, is the same one as two days ago (here).  Thankfully, they seem on their way to being much happier, […]

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