A Comfy Kind Of Restless

Hello 🙂

I am sitting with my milky cup of tea, looking out of our Eldest’s window at bright November sunshine this morning.  I dug out the quirky china mug that my Auntie bought me for my (second, I think?!) pregnancy and I am savouring how it keeps my caffeine hit warmer than other mugs.

The sky is the colour of a happy watercolour wash, and it is peppered by the snowflake stickers we stuck on the glass a few Christmases ago – Eldest asked to keep them there, so we did.  There are also still some of the chalk pen doodles from a few years ago, because he finds them nice to look at and I’m not picky about how it appears from outside.

I am not an Autumn lover, but I can appreciate it has beauty in it.  The colours can be breathtaking, the symbolism raw – and the general lean towards knitwear, layers and crafting obviously works in my favour 😉

I really should share a happy poem for this gorgeous-yet-frosty day…but the generator had other ideas.

Textfixer said:

So I responded:

imposter, blizzard, unsure, phenomenal, locust, distancing, rude, addictive, liberating

It’s a syndrome, apparently:

This feeling of being an imposter, hiding in plain sight.

Trapped in a blizzard of shoulds

Unsure which way is up.

Phenomenal self-doubt descends:

A locust storm munching

On all the harvest

You once thought you could count on.

Distancing oneself

From all who like to think they matter

Becomes a way of life. 

At first it feels rude,

But the relief becomes addictive.

That liberating silence in one’s head

Is better than any mere drug.

Maybe I’ll write a happy ditty tonight, when I think back on how nice it is sitting in a sun spot having cleared off our Eldest’s desk while he is at school.  How decadent it feels settling to apply myself to my creative passions in daylight; as the dust motes gather on all surfaces and the washing whirls in its endless rumbly rounds… 😉

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